#god i know i rambled off the point a bit but i felt its really important to note that like. while msq does change theres a lot of stuff

[shivasdarknight]

ask 2 of 3

12. How has their job affected whatever headcanon version is of the MSQ if any? 

{original question collection post - curious about anything else?}

Quite a lot, actually! Especially with regards to public image and how playing specific roles led to certain things happening.

For reference, here's what the four are classed as:

Surkukteni: LNC>DRG - ROG (ARR, only actual class as ROG isn't used seriously); DRG - RDM (post ARR); DRG - DRK/MCH/AST/RDM (HVW, DRG is still main class while the others are still being learned/use sparingly); DRG > DRK - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST (post HVW-SHB, DRK becomes main class); DRK - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST/WAR (post SHB, WAR is from Ardbert); DRK + RPR - MCH/RDM/DRG/AST/WAR/MNK (ENW, other things are mixed in); DRK+RPR+MNK+DRG - MCH/RDM/AST/WAR (post ENW)

Gwendoline: CNJ>WHM* - THM>BLM/ACN>SMN/SCH (ARR, only plays role of WHM and rest are...curiosities); WHM* - BLM/SMN/SCH (post ARR, other jobs see use but still WHM main); WHM*+MCH - BLM/SMN/SCH (HVW, basically just carries a gun on her now); WHM*+MCH+BLM+SMN - SCH (STB-post ENW, she's now figured out how to multi class and has become obnoxious about it)

*SHE'S A NECROMANCER.

Teodore: BLM - WHM/SCH/SMN/SGE (ARR-HVW, needs...a lot of explanation); BLM+SCH - SMN/SGE/WHM (post HVW-SHB); BLM+SCH+WHM - SMN/SGE (post SBH-post ENW)

Seraphin: GLD > PLD* (ARR, has been a GLD for a while); PLD* - RDM (post ARR, very serious about this); PLD* - RDM/MNK (HVW-post HVW, actively working on the latter); PLD*+RDM - MNK (STB-post ENW, MNK is more of an outlet than anything)

*He was not trained by the Sultansworn and is more of a rogue PLD, more below

The in depth stuff is below :3c

So each WoL has gone through ig a redefining of what each of their roles mean to them and the party, especially as they grow as adventurers and are confronted with things that don't particularly mesh with their preconceptions - with the exception of Teodore, but there's a reason there. Surkukteni sees the most change, Seraphin Teodore honestly sees the least out of them despite Seraphin only maining two classes - but Seraphin's two classes matter a Lot to him.

Let's start with Surkukteni.

The entire reason why she started with LNC was because it was what her captain Kitase was familiar with, and thus she was taught it. So she does not go to Ywain with no experience and instead comes in with naginata experience. Between her bullheadedness and leftover training from a former Doman soldier (plus her siding with Foulques), it makes early ARR!Surkie very prone to resisting teaching from Eorzeans. She picks up ROG more as a side gig than anything (which many of the skills from that will become useful), but her being an obnoxious 20something is what gets her thrown into Coerthas. Ywain sent two potential candidates to Alberic when the request was put through: Lillith (the genuine one, because he wasn't aware this was a way to shove accountability onto a foreigner) and Surkukteni (who he wanted to see broken by the much more rigid training structure of the Dragoons). This leads to confusion as to who the Eye picked between the two, but unfortunately for Ywain, the better candidate was Surkukteni - entirely because. I mean she's fucking based on Vergil Sparda while Lillith is a goody-two-shoes butch who just wants to find his dad (because ofc he does, he was a Lone Wanderer with the highest possible good karma originally); of course Surkie's the better candidate. So this bleeds into the public image of the Warrior of Light as "the Azure Dragoon Cloaked in Ivory," in part because she shifted from the "obnoxious greaser/biker in all black leather" to the white uraeus overcoat she began to favor in part because it made it easier to jump people from above (same logic as to why so many birds and fish have darker backs but lighter bellies), but also because she's an edgy bitch it's just flipped for her (she was a Borlaaq who are devoted to Nhaama and have the dark color scheme of black/purple/blue+some reds, and was raised in Hingashi by a Doman; she views dark colors as the more virtuous stuff because of Nhaama, but because of that same belief + Doman and Hingan ones, white is more associated with death. She's conscious of how Nhaama's colors are used, so she's openly edgy with both but Eorzeans didn't get the white association so it peters off eventually). So DRG became Surkukteni's identity as a Warrior of Light, and it influenced initial stuff with Ishgard more favorably...at first. It was at first, it doesn't really last because this is while Surkukeni's still under the hyur glamour and only Alberic (and Estinien, actually) know that she's an au ra.

During post-ARR, Surkukteni (and Seraphin) meet X'rhun - and because he's met prior to Stormblood, his offer to train them is more based in what he sees immediately. Yeah, he knows that the two are Warriors of Light, but he's more interested in their character and how they respond immediately. While Surkukteni is at her most obnoxious and sardonic, he extends the offer to her and this matters a lot because it's him extending her a courtesy she's never gotten before. She's outwardly auri at this point, but she's more surprised he's willing to work with her given her extremely volatile and powerful aether. She was rejected from every guild on the grounds of her being a liability to herself and those around her, so having someone be willing to slow down and work with her based on her needs? Yeah, it catches her off guard and it allows her to begin to learn magic through red magic. This is her first teacher since Kitase to actually care to teach her from the get go (Alberic doesn't count, it took a while for the priority to shift) and she ends up very close to the guy just because he took the time to meet her where she was at and help her grow into her style of red magic (which leans more into her Dominants (ice/levin/water) than the standard stuff). This nets her an ally in the Crimson Duelists, and becomes important down the line.

DRK becomes the most important aspect of Surkie's classes even if it's not her main one in HVW. She gets through the intro stuff very quickly, but the important impact is the fact that she's taken to getting rid of Temple Knights since nothing seems to come of their horrific acts against Brumites. That opening scene gets amplified as yeah remember the skills from ROG? They apply here now plus the little caveat that DRK is yes Dark Knight, but she's more of a Demon Knight. Surkukteni has a voidsent pact at this point with a Hellhound by the name of Sétanta, and in combination with her hyur glamour from ARR, the rumors of a "heretic in indiscernible armor that's as likely to maim you by sword as they are to maim you by devil" begin to circulate like wildfire and this gets back to Surkie through Aymeric. She was doing odd jobs in a sense for Aymeric with Estinien while her allies were caught up and not allowed in (gee it's like one of them was caught in the act of working with necromancy or something), so she does a lot of random stuff around Central and Western Coerthas along with the Sea of Clouds. It's during one of the meetings where they're going over recent heretical activity and attacks that Aymeric lets slip that there's been an increase of Temple Knight deaths from within the city. Estinien, to no one's surprise, is pretty pissed about it and assumes that some heretic must have slipped past their grasp - but he's mostly worried about how this is going to reflect onto Aymeric. So he's not catching onto what Aymeric sees, and that's the fact that Surkie keeps coming into meetings with injuries that don't line up with how easy these jobs were - and how much it isn't like her to be getting into petty fights (this was the only thing he misread about the situation - that was her excuse because she's picked so many fucking fights). What led him to this assumption was: the fact that the blood that he saw on her was weirdly dark, much like the fouled blood rumored of Dark Knights; she was seen more around Sidurgu; and she's the only one he knows of with a glamour that can mask traits like horns and tails. So after the meeting talking about the new Dark Knight, he asks her to deliver a letter to someone working on the Dark Knight case, which is so fucking obviously bait. Surkie tries to not fall for the bait, but it gets at her anyways and she opens up the letter to find a list of names and an already signed envelope addressed to Aymeric, so clearly meant for return. Against her better judgement, she investigates the names and finds them all to be Temple Knights? And each has done something pretty reprehensible, but she's pretty sure this must be some trap. But again, against her better judgement she hunts them all down because she doesn't want to allow them the free reign they already have since someone down the line of command is openly covering for them and against Aymeric's orders - which is almost definitely motivated by who he is. She delivers a "letter from Camp Cloudtop", and is handed one that's "for Falcon's Nest". She's well and truly been found out, but this goes on back and forth through HVW until she gets a letter asking her to come to his home in civilian clothing so they may discuss a more sensitive job in person. AND SHE STILL DOES IT, she still shows up and this is when they're finally on an upfront basis of what these jobs are and who's who and it's also where he admits to the fact that he's trans and these next names were extremely sensitive because they were people who were onto him and they needed differing levels of dealing with. So while HVW is going on, Surkie's got this whole fucking side job where she's acting as Aymeric's hitman and getting that much closer with him - and part of what let him know what was up was because Sidurgu's his ex, so he was already familiar with this. So when she's finally working with her allies again and they start seeing the DRK stuff slip in, they're all extremely confused because Surkie just seemingly pulled this out of her ass.

HVW is where it really gets messy. As the other Azure Dragoon, Surkukteni initially gets a few more privileges in regards to Ishgard than the others - to where she's the only one of the group who's initially allowed into the city (along with Alphinaud and Tataru, since they were vulnerable). She's still there on the graces of House Fortemps, but most of this is carried on her title. HOWEVER. This immediately backfires with the heresy charges and the trial by combat, in which she is now landed with Significantly more charges than the others - including those who are still trapped in Camp Dragonhead - by virtue of the fact that they were expecting a Highlander and they got an a 6'1" auri bitch. Instead of seeing it for what it was, they saw it as her revealing her heretical nature to get access to one of the most vaunted positions within the military and to destroy it from the inside out. Because of fucking course. Obviously, she wins but this haunts her during the limbo of trying to get her party into the city (because even the others like W'khittri and her siblings are stuck). She's trusted by the likes of Aymeric, Lucia, Estinien, and Handeloup since they know better, but the general populace just saw her for what happened in the trial by combat - so all of that capital she could've used as the Azure Dragoon doesn't work as well because they see her as the assumed-heretic Azure Dragoon. So it's during this limbo that she goes and tries to find things to occupy herself with and it results in being dragged off the street by Jannequinard and being taught astromancy. She tries to argue that it won't work, but he won't hear it and she learns anyways - mostly from Leveva, but y'know. Yes, the tarot and star stuff becomes a way for her to connect with an aspect of her home culture, but mostly she connects with this due to the secret fate stuff going on. This - however - isn't really applicable to HVW's story; instead, it's the gd butterfly wing flap turned into a hurricane that bites them in the ass in post SHB. What does matter is when she went to go investigate a body in the Brume and wound up with a lot of trauma.

But this is also where her connection with being a Dragoon was shattered, as she began to view it as something frankly horrific because of what her role was in the Dragonsong War, how close she got to Ysayle, and then everything at the end. The shift to DRK was already happening since Seraphin was injured pretty badly and needed to back off but also because Surkie was disgusted by what she had done to get there. The hard shift came when Nidhogg - with Gae Bolg - injured her so severely that she couldn't keep up with it. She tried one last time at Rhalgr's Reach, but by then that was that. She gave up the lance in favor of a claymore because she was too physically injured to keep up and Zenos had shattered the spear tied to her identity. Sure, she kept up with the other classes and being a RDM gave her some advantage with the Resistance and working with X'rhun advanced some of her other studies, but at this point that image of the Azure Dragoon Cloaked in Ivory was gone. Unable to continue in that class and having it thoroughly ruined by its history, she fell hard into DRK and found that her shit mood only helped fuel it (NOT A GOOD THING). Her inability to continue as a DRG was something that wound up coloring how she interacted with Estinien during the Steppe stuff for drg70, especially since the final nail was Zenos' fault. RDM70 gave her the three scars over one eye, her work with X'rhun and the side trip to the Steppe wound up with this spur the moment idea that WORKS and that's sending the teenaged Borlaaqi with the potential for red magic to be trained by him, which built interest and thus more people getting involved in the revival in Ala Mhigo but also it fostered good relations between the two groups, some of the Borlaaqi stayed as Crimson Duelists, while others took the magic back to the Steppe to work with it further. So now there's just a bunch of deadly teenagers with foreign magic that are gonna be so obnoxious during the Naadam.

It's more that the lack of being a DRG is what impacts Surkie through everything. She didn't get the chance to redefine it in the way Estinien managed to since she's unable to keep up. She leaned further and further into DRK, especially as breakdown after breakdown and pain over seeming to lose Ysayle gave her a fragile yet extremely potent form of power through the class itself. And through SHB, this was how Norvrandt was introduced to their Warrior of Darkness, which fit all too well and kinda had her spiralling. Dark Knight has resulted in Esteem acting as someone who can talk for her and talk her through stuff, Esteem is now actively recognized by the Scions and people she works with. Esteem is as apart of MSQ as much as regularly recurring non-Scion npcs tbh.

Post SHB is where AST comes back to bite Surkie in the ass because Werlyt and Zadnor are heralded by the addition of a new party member: Krystsyng. Who they are quick to discover (thanks to Teodore) is an agent of the Forum sent to hunt down Leveva and her pupil. And Krystsyng figured out Surkie quick, and so there is a running plot up until half way through Endwalker of trying to deal with the fact that the Forum didn't let up like they said they would, and Krystsyng would see Surkie dead. ...Until she's called off and now she's just this menacing neutral figure that is way too friendly with them, but that's for post ENW.

.............surkies class situation is messy anyways

MNK is tacked on as something for Surkie's recovery period between 5.55 and 6.0, since this is when she has the twins. She picks it up to stay active early on, but W'khittri helps her get more into it post-delivery to help her get back up on her feet and maybe help her get back into DRG. It's a bonding activity between Surkie and her sister's girlfriend, and while she doesn't fully class as it, fundamentals are now incorporated into her other classes. This is also when she summons Diarmuid Ua Duibhne as her Reaper contract. This part is crucial because of how it ties back to Donovich, Saoirse, and even Ammut. Diarmuid is 13th Estinien, aka Donovich; Donovich was the younger brother of Cylva, and a close companion to Saoirse; Saoirse is 13th Surkie who is now the Morrigna; Ammut (Surkie's previous life) was executed by Amon with Diarmuid, and now Surkie is using Diarmuid as her voidsent. Beyond it affecting her combat, she has now thrown herself into a further chaotic situation with Fandaniel and Tiamat, and it makes Fandaniel more of an antagonist than Zenos just by the virtue of her being Ammut and seeming to just drag up everyone from that past. Diarmuid is equally as much of an involved character as Esteem, and if she hadn't summoned him she might have just died in the void. He fused with her to get her back to the Ragnarok in time (not the canon stuff by any means) and so now RPR has evolved in a sense because she's now half Voidsent. She's got a deeper connection with 6.X, she has more direct info about the turf wars, she's now a direct target because of who she fused with (ty Saoirse, you're so fkn helpful), all of the trial fights have been 1v1s because of RPR stuff, and in order to even have that contract to begin with Surkie had to swear to work on restoring the 13th, which was already in the plans. She does start to get DRG back, and putting an end to Zenos does help her start to work through things, but what really marks her shift in attitude is that her relationship with being a Dark Knight has finally and firmly reoriented itself away from trauma and more towards keeping her loved ones safe. Because she went from "messy relationship with friends/co-workers she's sure would abandon her + messy sibling relationship = feels alone constantly" to "she suddenly has a lot of romantic partners, three of which are her fiances, and also she's a parent now??" very quickly. And it forced her to reconcile quickly so she could be more self sustainable and get her priorities straight.

so like the gist of it is that the DRG>DRK pipeline was Surkie learning that her original goals were very off (she sought power; she needed agency) and the way it affects msq is that it's the tangible mark of her growth as a person and how she's really grown for the better. Her classes are more of how she's viewed, but some - like RDM, AST, MNK and DRK - have led her to forge deeper bonds and allegiances with others as well as create powerful enemies that won't leave her alone lmao

More than anything, her spells allow her to not only gain a better understanding of people and how the world works - driving her through her own curiosity - but it also backfires in that she's constantly getting into hot water over the legality of her studies. And she wouldn't want it any other way because she loathes the fact that stuff (like phytomancy) is illegal for deeply petty reasons. It allows her to shift into working with the alchemists of Radz-at-Han, it gives her a place at the Great Work, and she's one of the people who helped develop a vessel for Venat after Endwalker to keep her around. She wants to keep challenging what people understand and think of magic while simultaneously redefining stuff that has been scorned. Her classes are her story, and they both help and hurt msq because she's stubborn and she's the fucking necromancer.

Onto Gwendoline.

Gwendoline's relationship with classes and MSQ is interesting because her entire reason for hiring Surkukteni in the first place was a scapegoat and alibi should she get caught in her studies. She's a very skilled CNJ and ALC from the get-go, but she prioritizes necromancy, some aspects of voidsent summoning, and eventually white magic, black magic and other banned magicks. She has a very antagonistic relationship with magical law, will not shut up about it, and will not stop breaking said law because she has a personal vendetta against it for very valid reasons. Part of what allowed her to become a skilled CNJ was the fact that she is a chirurgeon for a medical underground in Gridania that takes in people that are shunned by the Guild and any healers. This means poachers, outcasts, and most notably (and importantly) refugees. She knows from intimate experience with various magicks and these groups that most of the arbitrary bans are hurting more than helping and she refuses to fall in line with them. Her entire interaction with MSQ is causing problems with her classes to challenge their very bans because she's VERY cocky and she would love to try and see someone stop her.

She views necromancy as an extension of her conjury, especially since it's helped her expand her abilities in ways that include stasis and other forms of preservation to keep someone at the state they're in so that they don't run out of time. Over the course of ARR, she picked up what magicks she could for the sake of learning, and wound up falling deeply into black magic and summoning to a degree, but mostly to see how she could implement them into her already expansive abilities.

Yeah she's a lot like Y'shtola in this regard it's no wonder they're together. It also makes it very obvious as to why she works so well with Teodore, later Katsuro, and then later also gets with Nidhana: she values intellectual curiosity and this is how she navigates her own jobs. They're useful tools, but she sees them as something for her to tinker with and expand beyond what the nations allow. It's through this that she revives phytomancy to a degree (which is something I came up with; it's a nymian attempt at replicating white magic that has vestigial spells in arcanima through bio and all the other spells) because it's through phytomancy that they bring back the "graft" spell to aid in Surkukteni's recovery from Nidhogg, then implement it on a wider scale since its use as temporary flesh could save a lot of lives that current healing magic can't address.

Teodore's main proficiency is Black Magic, and a lot of his studies are looking into the classical spells of Mhachi mages and trying to figure out if they've documented everything that was available. While he was in Sharlayan, he used to cycle through jobstones due to the fact that each one held various experiences and often very different spells depending on the original user and what point in the 5th era they were from. This work has manifested in what was originally a very middling stone from the 5th era that wasn't anything special being used as his stone and a culmination of his research. So while it wasn't really anything better than a paper weight, it now contains a plethora of spells from across the reign of Mhach that range from "vestigial black magic in thaumaturgy" to "spells that were likely only used by the likes of Shatotto or other mages of legend or infamy". His goal through ARR - and this influences where they go and what they're involved in - is to create stones that act as an entire database of Black Magic, which is then applied to all of his other stones - with WHM and SCH having fairly high priorities. He maintains SMN as a way to see if he can manifest egis separate from the usual affair - especially with that known limit of 3 egis + demi- summons - which again leads the group down some weird diversions into what primals he wants to seek out. SGE is the only one that's not for research purposes as that's actually his stone. It's what he learned prior to getting into magical history, preservation, and experimentation. Like Gwen, he inherently challenges the idea of why these things are banned...but unlike Gwen, he's not keen on breaking the law that lets him have this power because he genuinely cares about preservation! It's just he can't do that preservation if everything is dead!! So yes, Sharlayan comes up quite a lot because he's in a lot of shit - politically and academically - for getting involved in Eorzea's business. His ability to be in Eorzea as a Black Mage is tied together, and he ends up developing more spells as time goes on just by virtue of that adventuring. So yeah he's another problem in that he's using illegal magicks like Gwen, but he's also breaking Sharlayan law like Surkie and that has consequences later into the story.

Teodore is a lot like Gwendoline in the regard that his magic directly correlates with his story. He's the only one of the group who openly wields 3rd and 5th era magic without being apart of the guilds initially. The reason being is that he's a fairly renowned experimental magician - a sage in the classic FF sense and not the XIV sense - and has all of these jobstones on loan from the Forum for his research on the condition he doesn't meddle in local politics.

That condition was long broken and he hasn't obeyed it since the fight with Ifrit.

And finally, onto Seraphin.

What's funny about Seraphin is that his main class doesn't have as much impact on story as his side class ends up having. Seraphin is a gladiator to make money for his family; he is also one of the best on the Bloodsands as of ARR, but he doesn't enjoy it which is what leads to the bodyguard work and why he and Teodore got caught in the Ifrit bullshit when they weren't involved with MSQ prior to it. If anything, Seraphin didn't want to be involved in MSQ because he was still a gladiator and he still needed to support his family first and foremost. But as he was exposed to the Scions and the state of things outside of it, his goals started to get lofty - especially with regards to the liberation of Ala Mhigo and getting his family back to their homeland. Which is why even if he is a canon Paladin, he is not a sultansworn. One of the problems through ARR is how the party deals with Ul'dah and its governing bodies, and beyond what I already said about Little Ala Mhigo and the Amalj'aa in that other answer, a sticking point is the fact that Seraphin is hired to take down a rogue Paladin, but ends up joining him instead. This is someone who's well versed in the old practices and is more in line of the morality of what Paladin should be, instead of just a cop for the Sultana and Syndicate. Seraphin holds an illegal jobstone, and this is frequently used against him as they try to work with the Grand Companies - and he doesn't like any of this! He tries to keep his head down to not draw attention by the Brass Blades or Immortal Flames, yet now he's embroiled in this nonsense because he wanted to do the right thing. It means that every interaction with Ul'dah is made significantly harder because an Ala Mhigan Duskwight refugee is embarrassing the Sultansworn through outperforming them, is working with someone who broke from them to begin with, and is aiding the local tribes. Frankly, they don't even need to do the false regicide plot (even though they do) because they were already building a case against Seraphin prior to being named Warrior of Light. Branching out and learning from Ishgardian Paladins (another state institution, he doesn't stick around with them) and even from Skuld (who is a ~120yo Sharlayan Paladin trying to get that part of herself back) lets him figure himself out and what Paladin means to him, and it sort of ends up a blend of Cloud's initial energy in ff7 to something more like Cecil after he ditched the dark knight stuff and became a paladin in ff4. It's not state affiliated, it's entirely morality driven, and it's the other side of the coin to Surkie as a Dark Knight because it's doing the right thing For The Sake of doing the right thing on a very wide scale vs doing the right thing to protect those closest to you. Like Surkie, this becomes tied to his identity; and like Surkie, he suffers a grievous wound that makes it difficult to keep up (Fenrir mauled his leg in Snowcloak) so he shifts to two things to help with recovery.

MNK and RDM mean a lot to Seraphin due to their connections back to Ala Mhigo, but RDM means the most to Seraphin. MNK is an outlet for him that he initially picked up from W'khittri (like Surkie) but continued to train in it with the likes of Widargelt and Lyse as something to keep his mind off of the stress of Stormblood and potentially losing his homeland to the Garleans again since shit was looking bad. He doesn't really use it in serious combat and just handles it as a social thing - not that it doesn't help with the others, he just doesn't main class it like W'khittri.

RDM is the one that has a lot of importance due to the fact that he grew up on stories of the Crimson Duelists and really admired them, and now he's working directly with X'rhun. Where Surkie goes off to utilize that to learn how to better manage her aether while making connections elsewhere, Seraphin is the one to work directly with X'rhun to build the Crimson Duelists back up with members of the Resistance and help train them. He does this, in part, through the Doman half of Stormblood since he's in Gyr Abania then, but building up a new faction of Crimson Duelists is something he works on while X'rhun continues to travel to see if he can help others. This means there's a fair group by Endwalker to help with things, and this means he has an outlet during post Endwalker and something to occupy himself after the "disbanding" of the Scions. When I said that this has the most story impact, I mean it in the sense that the most changes because now there is a fairly strong revival of the Crimson Duelists compared to the handful of practitioners as seen in canon. PLD has a lot of consequences early on, but it's more personal stuff for Seraphin; RDM, however, now has an entirely new dynamic and function within MSQ because he is one of the people working to revive the spellcraft. He's also the only one of the group who's not immediately torn into by Sharlayan, and frankly they want to see if he or X'rhun would be down to help archive what they know of the magic and what Seraphin (and Surkie, tbh) have developed beyond its standard teachings. There are way more Red Mages in this version of MSQ - and a VERY diverse group of them, btw - than in canon as Seraphin doesn't want to let this die. This is a part of his identity and it's a facet of reclaiming part of what Garlemald destroyed by working on this facet of restoration.

And that's.

That's a lot but that's it! :D

god help me.

[gublerryswift]

Why does she give a damn about me? | Spencer Reid x Reader

cutesy, cheesy fluff

In wich Spencer thinks reader is out of his league but she could not be more into him.

Content: Garcia is a queen as always, sunshine!reader

Warnings: Maybe some light lack of self steem from spence, but nothing crazy!!

He was used to it at this point. Being the weird kid in high school and college, Spencer never really expected anyone to be into him and, after being rejected a couple of times, he had practically closed himself off in that sense. But then, you came into the picture.

You are one of those girls that everyone seemed to gravitate toward, not only because of your beauty but because of your essence. You were genuinely kind, smart and good with people in a way he wished he was, maybe that’s why he was so drawn to you, you had all the qualities he wished he had and being close to you made him feel complete.

Needless to say that he was in love with you, it had started as an admiration and when he realized he was thinking about you all the time, but he was sure you would never be into guys like him, he was sure you’d never see him as more than friends.

–

You had joined the team a few years ago, you were excited to finally be doing what you really wanted when you joined the BAU, going out in the field and being on cases instead of just working a desk job all the time. When you first met the team, everyone seemed very welcoming but you felt yourself especially drawn to Spencer out of all people, at first he seemed distant but with time you noticed how sweet he was and how much he cared for everyone around him and god that man was so funny, you loved his weird science jokes and his magic tricks. How were you supposed to not fall in love with him? You asked yourself that question every time he brought you coffee in the morning or went on his rambles about some random thing.

After a particularly intense inquiry from a very drunk Garcia in one of the girls' nights she organized at her home, you told her your feelings for Reid and she made you swear you would act on it.

“Garcia, I'm not confessing. He's not into me like that, i’ll just ruin our friendship”

“Oh honey, he practically kisses the floor you walk in, he follows you around the office like a lost puppy and practically kills any officer that dares to be the tiniest bit mean to you. There’s no way he’s not into you, at least try pretty please” She says, doing puppy eyes at you. Garcia took her job as a cupid very seriously and was not going to let this be her first fail.

“Alright, i’ll try but if he ends up hating me you’ll have to bake me cookies everyday until i die” You say rolling your eyes and finishing your glass of wine.

“Ohhh i’ll be cooking cookies for you guys wedding!”

–

So, here you are holding his favorite order from the local coffee shop and gathering the courage to press the button to the elevator

“Hey are you fine?” A familiar voice calls you, when you turn around its spencer.. Great, guess you’ll have to do this right now

“Oh hi yeah, I was just um… meditating”

“Did you know meditanting has been proven to increase your memory and is also great for reducing anxiety. I really should start doing it, what method do you use?” Spencer says while pressing the button to the elevator

“Ummm breath in, breath out i think” You say, unsure how to respond

“That's actually one of the best ways as it oxygenates your brain and helps it work better, it can also help you feel more calm since deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system that sends a signal to your brain to tell the anxious part that you're safe and don't need to use the fight, flight response” He says, doing the little smile and head nod thing he always does after info dumping.

You smile back at him, as you both enter the elevator and press the button to the BAU floor.

“I brought you something” You say, handing him the coffee shop bag

He opens it and smiles at you “I can’t believe you remembered my favorites, thank you so much” You love that smile so much, all you can think about is how perfect he is and how there’s no way you can continue on without dating this man.

“Actually, I need to tell you something spence… I was thinking, maybe we could go out together as like, a date or something” You say, already blushing from the embarrassment you felt and how scared you were that he did not reciprocate the feelings.

“Really? Of course i want, to be honest i’ve wanted to ask you to be honest but i thought you’d never see me like that”

“Are you kidding me spencer? I’ve had a crush on you since we first meet”

The elevator gets to the office, and you both walk in blushing and joking about how you two were so blind to each other's feelings. As you get in, garcia passes by you two stopping to stare

“There’s something happening here…” She says, pointing between you two and pressing her eyes together as if she’s profiling you two

“I asked him out”

“Oh my god finally, you see? I’m always right, I don’t even need to ask what he said, look at Reid, he’s glowing, ohh i’m so happy” She says, walking out to probably tell the news to everyone on the team.

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[anticanonsposts]

könig taking care of us on our period but also not being afraid to fuck us 🙈

muahaha here you go darling 

cw: nsfw-mdni, p in v, fingering, blood, feelings of embarrassment, teasing??

You didn’t mean for it to happen but you invited your boyfriend König over and one thing led to another and now you were straddled on his lap, both of you shirtless, with no space in between the two of you, essentially consuming each other. His greedy little (big) hands were not being shy and running along every part of your body. Clawing your hands down to his fly you start to unzip it, feeling his growing hard dick under his pants. But he gently bats your hands away and instead works to take off your pants. Sitting up on your knees you help him by shimmying out of them which elicits a groan from him. 

‘Eager there big guy huh?’ you tease which earns you a soft spank to your butt. Giggling, you go back to eating his face only breaking away when he says,

“Can I finger you?” 

Responding with a nod and ‘mmhmm’ you start to get off of him to lay down but he stops you, ‘No I want to like this’ his eyes gleaming up at you, clearly in a horny haze. As you return your lips to his once more his right hand makes its way down to your core. Gently taking his ring and index finger he glides against your slick and runs his middle finger from your entrance up to your clit. Shivering slightly, he chuckles. Absolutely giddy with himself. He loved that he was able to please you, make you feel good, you worked so hard every day so he really enjoyed seeing you let loose. 

Gripping better onto his shoulders now, he slowly slides his middle finger into you, curving it slightly, then quickly adds his ring finger. 

You gasp a bit, not because of pain, but you always forget how much bigger his hands feel than other people you’ve been with. 

He quickly finds a good rhythm against you, curving his fingers in and out of you, his palm rubbing against your clit each time. Tongues still down each other's throats, the two of you stay like this for a few blissful minutes. Finally, wanting more, you pull away and say, “Shit, please just fuck me König” both of you lips puffy at this point. 

“Do you want it that bad, hmmm?” he teases back before coating your collar bones and chest with quick, light pecks.  

Bracing yourself on his shoulders you start to shift your weight off of him and he pulls his hand from you, only for both of you to realize his fingers and palm are covered in blood. 

“Oh my god!” you exclaim, this has never happened to you during sex before, some of your friends had told you how when this happened to them, it killed the mood. 

König’s eyebrows raise, his face surprised with a mild concern. Was he too rough with you? You’d done this before and nothing happened? But as soon as you cover your face with your hands out of embarrassment he figures out what’s going on. But before he can react you have already lept off of his lap and run into the bathroom. 

Closing the door behind you, you quickly grab some toilet paper to try and wipe any excess blood that has accumulated between your legs. You felt absolutely mortified, you were sure he was grossed out, sure he didn’t wanna see you anymore, your mind just kept filling and swimming with worry. You were broken out of this trance by a soft knock on the door. “Liebe? Please come out.” 

You open the door to your boyfriend standing there with a sheepish smile. “Oh shit here, wash your hands I’m sorry” you say which only gets a chuckle from him. As he grabs some soap and starts lathering his hand under the water  you say, “I’m sorry that happened, I didn’t realize I was gonna start my period today. We don’t have to continue if you don’t want, but shit you’re probably still hard, i can give you head if you want-” rambling on, only cut off by his lips meeting yours. 

“Liebe, do you remember what I do/did for work? Do you think a little blood bothers me, hmm? I understand if YOU don’t want to continue but just know you will get no hesitancy from me.” 

“Shit-Sorry I just thought you’d be grossed out-”

“Stop apologizing Liebling! It’s ok, I don’t mind, your body is doing what your body does….Now, do you wish to continue?”  he assures you, gently gripping your face in his huge (yes i know we know he’s big but you best believe i'm gonna mention it constantly rahhhh) hands. Noticing a small smile and glint in your eyes he mimics and starts smiling down at you. 

“Let’s get a towel, and you go ahead and lay down, ok?” he says grabbing an old towel from under your sink.  

Doing exactly what he suggested you grab the towel and make your way back to your bed, laying it out so that your bottom half can rest on it. You shimmy up, propping yourself up on your elbows, legs spread slightly. His eyes rake up your body as he rids himself of the rest of his clothes. 

Then the bed dips under his weight as he crawls his way up to you, caging you under him with his arms on either side of you. Your elbows lock around his neck, bodies pressed together once again, your mouths explore each other. That is until you are whining, legs wrapped around his waist, grinding your heat against this core. 

Knowing, he’s already teased you so much, he braces himself up with one of his arms and uses the other to line himself up with you, making sure to glide against you first. Then he slowly enters you, groaning at the feeling of you wrapping tightly around him. Finally bottoming out he looks down at you, immediately you give him a quick nod, begging with your eyes for him to start thrusting. And who is he to deny you? One elbow still propped up he uses his right hand to trap your jaw to keep your eyes on him, and uses his left hand on your hips, moving you as leverage for a better rhythm. 

As he fucks into you, he murmurs praise after praise into your ears, “Fuck, dummer schatz (silly darling/treasure), you’re worried a little blood would keep me away from this pussy? Nothing could keep me from enjoying you, du bist zu perfekt (you’re too perfect). Blushing from his words due to your ever growing German vocabulary all you can do is whimper back, telling him how good he feels. 

At this point he really starts pounding into you, slightly bouncing your hips off the bed to meet his thrusts. You move yourself with him, taking everything he has to give you. Feeling your core start to twitch he quits his hand from your hip and pushes your right leg up by the crook of your knee so that he more directly hits your g-spot. “mmmm-König-I’m..gonna cum” you moan looking up at him with those gorgeous eyes he loves so much. “I know libeling, come apart for me, ok? I’ve got you” he replies as you start rubbing slow circles around your clit. “I’m gonna cum with you, just tell me when you are!” he grunts out, more assertive as he is nearing his own climax. After a few more strong thrusts you finally come undone “oh fuck-König–mmmcuming!” you cry, core tightening around him, white hot pleasure coursing through your body. He groans in response and buries himself inside  of you, balls deep as if he’s trying to get you pregnant. 

“Fuck!”  you both say in unison before laughing. Carefully he pulls out of you and you sit up to ‘inspect the damage’. His dick definitely has blood on it, nothing horrific, but clearly you are bleeding. “See, I told you I don’t mind” he says before laying on his back, pulling you with him to rest on his chest. 

“We better shower babe” you pipe up still a bit nervous about the blood. 

“In a minute, I wanna hold you a little longer”

That was just the first time bestie: from then on any other time you were on your period but wanted to have sex….

would be one of the only times he got mildly frustrated with you

having to repeat over and over again that he couldn't care less about any blood, as long as you were down

if seeing the blood bothered you he would have you turn around so you didn’t have to see it at all

doing it in doggy so that you don’t have to see his dick come out of you covered in blood <3 he’s so sweet like that 

and then would quickly clean himself and you up so that you wouldn't second guess anything 

as I said he would already be so down for it, but when he found out that orgasms can help with cramps, call him tylenol because he is on you so fast

after a while you realize that he tends to overstimulate you so much more when you’re on your period…because he wants you to not be in pain 

this man is the DEFINITION of a period stops nothing but a sentence

[wheelsupimagine]

Meant to be -Spencer Reid x Fem!reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x FemReader

Word count: 3.2k words

Warnings: mentions of s3 e16 and s4 e24, angst and fluff

Summary: A case reminded Spencer of his past and you the only friend he had in high school, what if one day you two meet again in DC.

Being a resident genius had its favors, the team bets everything on him and he could always retrieve this but this case was different, it was difficult it got personal.

His edict memory is a blessing but not when a case like this reminded him of his past - Alexa Lisbon.

Then he wished he could forget everything for once in his life, but he will always remember.

When Spencer stepped out of the plane, he felt like he could breathe again, but his mind still raced - this case was an emotional roller coaster for him and the best way for Spencer to calm down was to go to his favorite bookstore.

The moment Spencer stepped into the bookstore he felt relieved, the familiar smell of old books and fresh coffee felt like home and no other person was in sight.

"Hey Spencer though case?!" Miranda the owner of the shop asked.

"Hey Miranda, yeah it was."

"Okay, your coffee will be ready in a bit, the bookstore is almost empty just one more person is here."

Spencer nodded but he was surprised that someone else would be here at this time still Spencer didn’t let himself bother knowing he would probably not even find this person.

Spencer left Miranda and made his way deeper into the bookstore. He was so invested in finding a new book, that he totally forgot about his coffee till he heard his name being called.

"Spencer Reid?" A stranger called his name

He turned his head and then he saw you.

Y/N Y/L/N.

What Spencer didn’t tell Derek was, who got him down from the goalpost back then - it was y/n, after that night you two spent more time together - Spencer could always come to you, and you two never talked about his problems and struggles because when he was with you it didn’t matter, once or twice he talked with you about his mom but mostly he just enjoyed your company and felt like a decent kid with a friend.

When he graduated high school, he never looked back but after 14 years you stand now in front of him right here in this bookstore in DC.

"Miranda asked me if I could bring you your coffee before it gets cold." You said and pointed at his coffee in your hand.

"My god Spencer, I can’t believe it’s you." You continued.

"Thank you y/n." Spencer took the coffee from you.

"It’s been a while, you look good by the way."

Spencer blushed, but he didn’t say anything back.

"Ähm yeah it was nice to see you again, I don’t want to bother much longer." As you attempted to leave, Spencer stopped you.

"Actually I could use some company if you like… Only if you want to obviously, I would understand if you don’t want to…" Spencer

rambled, but you stopped him.

"I would love to keep you company Spencer."

You two sat down and drank your coffee and talked. Spencer found out that you moved here two years ago because you got a job offer at the Walter Reed hospital and nothing held you in Las Vegas. Spencer talked to you about his job in the FBI, you asked him about Diana and it surprised him that you still knew her name, you two had a great time together until you caught Spencer off guard.

"Spencer, how are you really? You have very dark circles under your eyes."

"I…I haven’t slept really, it was this case that reminded me of something in the past." Spencer sighed and didn’t dare to look you in the eyes.

You knew where his mind went, you rubbed Spencer’s arm.

"But look at you now, these High school jerks and Alexa are definitely regretting this now." You looked at your clock.

"Hey Spencer it’s getting late, I have to wake up early and honestly you need some sleep too."

Spencer's mimic changed from happy to sad in one motion.

"Oh, I understand. Yeah yeah, you should leave you need your sleep." Spencer took his distance from you, thinking you wanted to leave because you already had enough of him.

"Spencer hey, if you want we can exchange phone numbers so we could meet again."

Spencer’s lips curved into a smile.

"Yeah, I would like that."You exchanged numbers and you both left the shop together.

Sadly you two had to split ways, Spencer insisted on walking you home but you promised him that it wouldn’t even take 10 minutes till you were home. Spencer started rambling about unsafety and what everything could happen in 10 minutes.

"Wow, now I might think I have to stay with you forever." You joked

but Spencer was stunned and it caused his cheeks to turn slightly pink.

"I just made a joke Dr. Reid, okay. Would you feel better if I wrote you when I made it home save in 10 minutes?" You asked him.

"This would make it slightly better. But.."

"But?" You asked confused.

"You lied," Spencer said.

"What?"

"You first said you would be home in less than 10 minutes now it’s exactly 10 minutes." Spencer smiled and you laughed.

"Come home safe Dr. Reid."You smiled and turned around making your way home.

When Spencer arrived home, he thought about going to bed immediately but you crossed his mind again and when he looked at his phone he saw that you hadn’t wrote him yet. So instead of getting in his pyjamas he sat on his couch and waited for your text.

After 10 minutes and 45 seconds, you texted him letting him know you made it home safe.

Spencer:You are too late.

Y/n:What?!

Spencer:You are exactly 45 seconds too late. Next time I call the FBI.

Y/n:haha. I am so sorry dr Reid, I changed into my pajamas first.

Y/n:You didn’t need to stay awake for me

Spencer:But I wanted to make sure that you save.

Y/n:Thank you Spencer but you also need to sleep.

Spencer:Good night Y/n sleep well.

Y/n:Sleep well genius.

Over the last few months, Spencer and you met at the bookstore when your jobs allowed it. Otherwise, you two stay connected through messages and phone calls. Even the team noticed a shift in Spencer’s mood and as the man Derek is he asks him about it.

"Hey, pretty boy, who’s got you on the phone like this?"

"What do you mean, I use my phone like I always do."

"No boy wonder, for someone who rarely uses his phone in his free time, you are really caught up in it now." Derek laughed.

"Is pretty boy in love?" Derek asked and wiggled with his brows.

"Derek please can you leave it, it’s nothing," Spencer answered and didn’t dare to look Derek in the eyes.

"Okay Spencer, I let it slide for now but just so you know I care about you and if there is someone in your life that makes you happy, I just want to know."

Paperwork days for Spencer were never a problem, he accepted it cause it needed to be done but now with you in his life, he loved paperwork because it meant he wasn’t away on a case and with you having the morning shift, it gave you two the chance to meet up after work and he enjoyed your time together, he feels like he can be like himself with you and he hasn’t laughed so much since he met you.

But your jobs didn't allow this too much, either you had the night shift or Spencer was out of town for a case and he hated this, he hated when you weren’t around, he hated it when you two were in the same city but didn’t get to see each other and even though he loves his job, he couldn’t wait to come home, to see you - he missed you.

Cases also mean for him that he barely has time to call you.

Currently, Spencer has been away for a week already, this case going longer than he thought it would take, Spencer lay on his motel bed and tried to find the breakthrough for the case but nothing came to his mind.

He put the papers aside and looked at the clock, it wasn’t too late in DC yet, and he was unsure if he should call you, it’s nothing you usually do so that Spencer could stay focused on the case but honestly, he needed to hear your voice tonight, so he tried to call you hoping you aren’t already asleep.

"Spencer? Is everything okay?" Your voice sounds raw.

"Hey, yeah everything is okay. Did I wake you up? I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to, it was a stupid idea to call you, you obviously slept, and your voice sounds raw. I should-."

"Spencer, breath, everything is fine. I didn’t sleep, I - I just rolled around, I was thinking about you."

Spencer was stunned by your confession, he stayed silent but his heart was beating very fast.

"So yeah, what’s on your mind, Spencer?" You asked breaking the silence.

"We don’t come forward with the case and I...I wanted to hear your voice." Spencer confessed.

"Sometimes it takes more time to find the perpetrator but the only thing that matters is that you will find him. I miss you but please stay safe there."

"I will y/n, I promise."

"Hey, Spencer."

"Yes, y/n."

"Why don’t we meet when you come back, we could order takeout and make a movie marathon at my place nothing fancy." You suggested.

"Yeah, yeah I would like that."

"Good, I will see you soon, good night Spencer."

"Good night y/n."

A few days later the team finally caught the unsub.

As the team flew back to Virginia, Spencer wrote you to let you know that he would land in the late afternoon and asked you if you two wanted to have the movie marathon tonight which you accepted.

Spencer didn’t even realize that he smiled like an idiot until Derek pulled him out of his thoughts.

"You pretty boy what got your smile like that?" Derek asked Spencer.

"Uh n-no-nothing," Spencer said but his cheeks turned 10 times darker every second.

"Sureee Spencer."

Spencer didn’t say anything.

"Hey Spencer," Derek said.

"Yeah."

"It’s good to see you like this," Derek replied. He left Spencer alone with his thoughts, he couldn’t wait to see you tonight.

Spencer arrived at your apartment complex 10 minutes too early, he first waited in his car, drumming his fingers on his bouncing leg, trying to calm himself down but he failed miserably, so he stood in front of your door 7 minutes and 43 seconds too early but it was okay, in that time he tried to get his breath under control.

But before Spencer got his breath under control, you already opened the door.

"Man, I thought you would never knock at my door." You greeted him.

"How-how did you know I stood in front of your door?" Spencer asked.

"I saw you parking your car 5 minutes ago, I waited for you.”

"Oh yeah I didn’t want to be late here but I also didn’t want to be too early, I didn’t know if you were ready yet," Spencer explained.

"It’s okay Spencer but next time just knock you could never be annoying to me, even if you're too early you can sit on my couch like right now."

"I will quickly make the popcorn, you can look for a movie we could watch." You suggested and Spencer sat down and looked for a good movie to watch that you also liked, when you returned with the popcorn and other snacks, you sat down next to him but not too close, Spencer still didn’t decide what to watch.

"I-I don’t know what to watch, movies that I like are mostly not the type from others," Spencer admitted.

"Okay mhm, what do you think of Star Trek?"

"What?!" Spencer was completely shocked.

"Ähm okay was that a bad request?"

"No, no it’s- it’s great actually, I love it, I didn’t think you would like these types of movies," Spencer admitted.

"I am full of surprises Spencer."

So you watched the Star Trek series and after some time you both fell asleep, no one knows who fell asleep first maybe it was you or him but for sure was that you both bumped your heads, after a phone went off - it was Spencer’s.

"I’m sorry, I’ve got a case, is your head okay?"

"Yeah, yeah is there enough time for coffee or do you have to leave immediately?"

"No, it looks really important I have to leave now, but at least the case is here."

"Okay, good luck, be safe."

"I will be." As Spencer was about to leave he turned around once more.

"Hey y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"I had a lot of fun last night."

"Me too, maybe we couldn’t do it again sometime?"

"I would love to, bye y/n."

"See you soon doctor, come home to me in one piece."

Just when the door felt shut, your phone started ringing, it was the hospital.

"Hey, y/n. Is it possible for you to fill in today, maya is sick."

"Yeah sure, I am on my way."

Spencer just visited Abby one of the remaining survivors, in the middle of their conversation Abby got aphasia, which scared Spencer, this stain kills people in a short amount of time and right now he couldn’t do anything.

Then he thought about you, and he had the urge to talk to you, even though he may get in trouble for this he needed to know you were okay.

"Spencer, is everything okay?" You said quite in panic.

"Yeah, yeah sure why wouldn’t it be… I.. I just wanted to hear your voice and I wanted to know if you are okay."

"Everything is okay, besides I have to work today."

"What !! I thought it was your free day?"

"Yeah, change in plans, one of my colleagues is sick and they asked me to fill in, but it’s fine, it’s a quiet day." You lied to Spencer, nothing was quiet on this day.

Hey, Spencer, it looks like I’ve got to go out there again. Look out for yourself and maybe if you’d like we could out soon.. like on a real date, maybe?"

"..I would like it, yeah, that would be great."

"Good, stay safe Spencer. Bye"

"Goodbye, Y/n. Take care of yourself. See you soon."

You both hung up with a smile and at least forgot the scary situation for a few seconds, before you got out again and took care of the anthrax-infected patients.

Spencer and Derek made their way to Nichols a possible suspect in the anthrax case. When they arrived Spencer had cut himself briefly on the thorn bush but it didn't stop him and continued to walk with Derek closer to the house.

Before Morgan and Reid entered Nichols's private lap, Derek got a phone call, Reid made his way into the lab and left Derek behind.

As Derek ended the call, he realized Spencer was not behind him. Derek ran towards the house calling for Reid and just when he arrived at the house, Spencer closed the door from the lab and told Derek he couldn’t get in there just then Derek saw the broken test tube with Anthrax in it.

Spencer was a step closer to death.

You took the mask from your face and took a deep breath and you finally broke down, you started crying, it was too much for you, seeing all those vulnerable people and you can’t do anything to help them, you can only try to make this stay as comfortable as possible.

You knew what this job meant, you can’t save everybody but this is not fair, how can a human being so heartless and let these people perish?

You took another deep breath and then you thought about Spencer, hopefully was okay, far away from this situation but deep down you knew he wasn’t, he is in the FBI of course he is involved but please let him be okay.

You needed to hear Spencer's voice, so you called him.

"Y/n…" Spencer began to cough.

"Spencer.. what's happening. You don’t sound okay."

"Everything is fine." Spencer coughed again.

"Spencer…no matter what is happening…"

"Y/n listen." Spencer cut you off.

"I love you Y/n… everything is gonna be okay but I've got to go now. Then Spencer hung up and you didn’t get to answer him.

You tried it a few more times but he didn’t pick and now it felt like your world broke down, you burst into tears knowing couldn’t do anything.

After Spencer and Dr. Kimura may have found the cure for this anthrax, Spencer finally gets to go out of the lab and go to the shower, but as Spencer untied his tie, Dr. Kimura sees the cut Spencer got from the bush and the situation just got more dangerous, hopefully, the cure was in the inhaler.

When Dr. Kimura came in with a newly infected anthrax patient your heart skipped a beat - it was Spencer.

He was in an awful state and for a moment you didn’t know if he would survive this.

The situation finally got under control with the confirmation from the lab that the cure was in the inhaler, the last survivors and Spencer were able to be cured and now it was a matter of time before Spencer woke up.

When you walked towards Spencer’s room, you saw a man sitting by Spencer and eating his jello that you put on his table, just then Spencer woke up and immediately asked if there would be more jello.

As you arrived at Spencer's room you couldn’t hold back anymore.

"Hey." You've said as if a stone fell from your heart.

"Hi." Said Spencer with a smile on his face.

You both wanted to say so much more but with this muscular man in the room who you didn’t know - there was an awkward silence there.

"Okay, I think it’s my time to leave. Have fun lover boy." The man said and left you too alone.

"You’ve scared me, Spencer." You sat down on the bed and took his hand in yours.

"I didn’t mean to do this and I am sorry for what I said, I would understand if you don’t want to see me anymore, I mean with what I said I took this.." Spencer rambled.

"I love you too Spencer."

"WHAT?! Really?"

"Yes Spencer, of course I do, I've loved you since we first met back in Las Vegas."

Spencer cupped with both hands your face and you leaned in and then you two kissed for the first time.

"So you still want to go out with me?" You asked.

"Of course Y/n." You both hugged and Spencer's face was crooked in your neck.

"Hey, Y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer."

"Before we go out on the date, can I have some of this jello?" Spencer asked shyly but you just started laughing.

"Of course, my love, you can have as much jello as you want."

Man - when I wrote this it felt from length okay but now I feel like it’s a little rushed maybe you could give me feedback if I should get more in detail with the story and the conversations.

I am still very new to writing and it feels super though to write Spencer so that he still has his character traits and doesn’t sound like a totally different Spencer.

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

hi✨adore your thoughts and headcanons to the moon and back with how detailed and in character they are. dark!percy has always been incredibly alluring and fascinating, so I was wondering about your presentation/analysis of him. if you're comfortable (if not, it's totally okay and just ignore it!), could you write percy and child of any "dark" like hades, or hecate, nyx (or whoever) god, who understands how scary and tough it can be when you and your powers are so destructive, and they help him to kinda adjust to this side of him and understand that he isn't a bad person for that (cause this guy already has a lot of self hatred). maybe kinda chaotic dumbass enemies to lovers? sfw or nswf - whatever works for you. sorry for this ramble! just so many thoughts about him...

hope you have a good time of a day🤟

DARK!Percy headcanons

authors note: Can I just say, I've been WAITING for a question like this. More Dark Percy headcanons everyone!! plss!!

warnings: mentions of abuse & neglect, suicidal and intrusive thoughts, impulsive thoughts, mentions of eating disorder, chaotic family life, Gabe Ugliano...

okay, this is a mixture of headcanons of his CHILDHOOD but also an ANALYSIS of DARK PERCY.

cigarette burns from Gabe. Not just because Gabe did it, some of Gabes older friends (a long time ago, before the lightning theaf book) told Percy to come closer and burnt it into his forearm. Gabes eyes turned into shock but then he poked a tongue in his cheek and scoffed in laughter, giving Percy a judgemental look - *its a classic look, the type of look you give someone when you're looking down on them.

Percy would be so angry at Gabe, sometimes he would snap and tell him to shut up because Gabe would watch TV late in the night and fall asleep with the TV on until morning. At some point, Percy opened the door and screamed on the top of his lungs to shut the fuck up, slamming the door, sleep deprived and exhausted, locking the bedroom door bc he was scared Gabe would do something - and sobbed loudly. He was just a kid, but he already learnt how to fight. Sally tried to give reassurance but Percy wouldnt open the door. The incident was deemed "nightmares" on Percy's part, and Sally let him sleep in her bed.

Sally and Gabe never shared a bed. Gabe snores, sometimes even has nightmares, other time she would bother Sally about a new babyboy they could have, as if Percy wasn't good enough to be his son.

One time Sally asked Percy if he ever wanted siblings. the truth is, yes, but with Gabe Ugliano? no way. fuck no. He said no in a really moody and almost bitchy way, and walked out of the house and went to school.

Percy had the habit of keeping his shoulders scrunched up when he slept. He still does, but he doesn't understand why his body tenses up when he sleeps - Gabe isn't there anymore.

He also had the habit of lowering his head, shoulders and hunching when he walked - but once he met Annabeth over the summer he kept his back more straight - and never hanged his head when he walked. He noticed and felt more relief.

When people asked what he was doing for the summer, weight was lifted off his shoulders when he said SUMMER CAMP - finally he had something to do during summer! Every kid in school went somewhere nice, now even Percy does. He felt like he could finally share a bit of the same intrests as everyone else. He could actually tell people about his summer.

You know when the teacher forces everyone to tell a little bit about their summer - now finally percy could say confidendtly he did somethign fun instead of making something up.

struggles with anger, but understand it got so bad he broke his own first laptop 3.5months of having it - he broke the screen in half with his bare hands. He regretted it so much and hid it but his Sally found out.

Regrettfully, this made Percy believe he would always ruin/sabotage things for himself, and that he doesn't deserve nice things. Letting his mother buy his clothes, never aksing for new clothes... whats the point?

Besides, Gabe was stingy with his money. Gabe even refused to buy shampoo which is stupid cause its cheap asf - but Gabe wanted the feeling of control.

the dynamic of the family and house changed. The living room was Gabes, not Sally and Percy's spot. Gabe even took Percy's side of the couch and his spot at the dining table. Percy stubbornly refused to move, but Gabe is scary and big for his size so he did it to be civil for his mother. He felt like he lost something that day.

When Gabe was out late, Percy would lock the door and put the chain on. Gabe would unlock the door and try to get inside, but the chain stopped him. Gabed huffed in frustration and Sally had to get up and open the door - which burned Percys heart because he realized that nothing could keep Gabe out.

Percy would generally be a very bitter person to be around, people would shy away from him and sometimes stop talking when he tried to join in.

self image, self-confidence and self respect was low. But actually scratch that, his self respect was high. he put boundaries down pretty fast with other people because he knew everything that gabe did was no, and everything that sally did was yes. but at some point he disliked Sallys touch just slightly bit, because he knew Gabe had held her hand earlier.

he would talk to sally for hours on the couch, but as soon as the door clicked opened he walked to his room and closed the door. He didnt want to be near gabe. but then gabe started to trash his room, and percy was basically forced to sit in the living room.

he felt like he was playing "family" or pretending everything was okay, as if Gabe wasn't neglectful, but he felt sick.

At some point Percy's anxiety and stress because to normalized within himself that he nowadays cant tell what anxiety even is - and he would sometimes even say hes never had anxiety, because its basically been with him from such a young age, he cant tell the difference.

pretending to be "family" was even worse walking around the mall with sally and gabe. gabe was just this big giant slob of goo that would follow everywhere, and gabe would even huff and puff shamelessly if they were taking too long. gabe even got angry if sally found something nice for herself, he was possesive.

started taking only an apple with him to lunch, 1. he thought he was fat. 2. gabe wouldnt buy anything he liked and they had to stick with the basics. 3.his lunch was embarrassing even though everyone ate cafeteria food.

he got so happy the first time he could bring something "normal" to eat or if he got money to buy lunch, his reason being that he could finally "blend in" insteading standing out as a "freak".

he has a burn mark on the backside of his ankle, near his achillies, burn himself bc of Gabe.

hates it if someone traces the cigarette scars on his arm, even hates it if Annabeth does it - he still struggles with his self image and probably wont like that part of himself until he grows old and gray.

one time he vented to someone about his childhood and they stopped talking to him. never spoke ever since, was afraid that someone would use it against him. hasn't even told his mom or sally half of the things Gabe said or did to him/behind his back.

one time gabe pissed on the clothes percy was wearing but blaimed it on percy. ofc his mother believed percy but it was still shameful for percy.

in second book of sea of monsters, a kid asked if percy let his mother buy his clothes - actually stopped letting his mother buy clothes for him after that.

he would naturally adopt people that were outcasts and be a friend - because people were rarely there for him when he needed it.

needs validation, but couldnt get it from school. his friends would praise him but he could barely accept those compliments because at the end of the day he was still a loser too.

his mother would be his studdy buddy, and tried to help percy with homework - but still found everything hard.

gabe got angry with percy would "dirtying everything" but Gabes the only reason why his mom has to clean daily.

Dark Percy would definitely develop from a young age, but it became a lot more present behind the scene of the books.

he desires comofort, safety and a space where he can be himself without having to walk on his toes around the place.

Honestly, NSFW

He suppresses his moans because he was used to being quiet when he was around Gabe.

He has jacked off quietly, watched any videos quietly, no sound and even with headphones get sscared that someone might hear.

One time he stayed up late bc of whatever reasons and his stepfather Gabe yelled "GO TO BED", the next morning Gabe complained about how loud Percy was when Percy was away at school (this was early middle school, school wasnt that far away). And his mother Sally defended him and said she believes that Percy goes to bed when he should/when she tells him to, this made Percy feel bad so he went to bed on time every since, or at least tried too. If he ever stayed up, he learn how to breathe quietly too.

The feeling of shame for touching yourself, feeling pleasure, and arousal was strongly in him from a certain age - Gabe's influence for even trying to be HAPPY or LAUGHING with his mother made him feel shame for any good feeling sexual or not.

[milkman-zahhak]

Cal and Leo ~ Christmas special + animated gif

+ A little masterpost here for the stories I've written for them so far if you want to read more about these two and their lore:

- Part 1 - Part 2 (prequel to part 1) (think of it like a flashback scene, seen as Leo and Cal drift asleep in part 1) - Part 3 (sequel to part 1) . . . - Halloween Special PART 1 - Halloween Special PART 2 - Christmas Special <-(you are here)

Sorry for the wait, I know it's way past christmas at this point, but it's done nonetheless. I've been browsing the blogs of some of my mutuals and tried to add in some stuff I saw you guys were into as well,, a little bit here and there... It's quick, but here's the drawing GIF to go along with it, as promised. I hope tumblr doesnt mess up the quality- not that there's much there in the first place:

^^^ It's a belly capacity comparison.

Leo you've been stuffing for hours, show me the product! OUH, ope, no,, it's nice... 😬 oooh you've never looked fuller... oooh.. where were you, where were you when it was time for belly stuffing...ouu... was that like 2 plates? hey- Cal is just a sweat and a tryhard anyway, smh. 🙄 he doesn't know what he's talking about!! /ref

~

WARNING: CONTAINS BELLY FETISH STUFF, READ TAGS FOR THE WHOLE RUNDOWN! (+SAY GEXUAL PHYSICAL INTIMACY)

Anyways, here's the story, sorry its super late:

------------------------------

It was a cold northern December evening. The door opened, and Leo kicked his boots together in the doorway before taking them off and shedding multiple layers of winter-wear.

Cal watched from the couch, giving his boyfriend a moment to settle back in, knowing how much Leo hated working and needed to defrost after being out in the cold. He looked comically lanky when he took off the thick coat and snowpants, as if he were a cartoon skeleton slipping out of its skin. You’d think someone who hates being active would be a bit bigger, but no.

Cal is sure Leo's diet of absolute fuckall was the only reason he was still built like a stickbug. Not the time to share those thoughts aloud, though, so he kept his lips zipped, waiting for Leo to start the conversation instead.

Leo slumped onto the couch, "Ugh, man... today was rough." Cal shuffled closer to the blonde man, "aww, whaaat? You got that mall santa job, that sounds pretty easy. better than your usual retail stuff, right?"

Leo let out a heavy sigh. "I know, I know. But this year...it's just different. Being Santa at the mall...it's draining doing that all day." he rants, "kids piss me off, and even when the kids are polite and well-behaved, there's always some terrible parents that manage to make up for it."

Cal felt bad for Leo, but he also felt nosey. "Oooh, gotcha.. That always sucks... ... so... Anything in particular happen today?" He was bored, and ready to back his boyfriend up morally on any situation he was in, and shit-talk whatever coworker or customer Leo wanted to rant about today.

Leo paused to think, "Uhm. A few- not really. Just... I dunno, I just hate this time of year!" Cal's eyebrows raised. "Wait, what do you mean? How does one hate such a festive time of the year?"

Leo hesitated, then started to explain. "I mean...I used to not hate it, I think. But like, growing up Catholic, it was always so much pressure..." Leo hesitated, he hated talking about himself, he didn't want to bum Cal out with some pity-party about his past. "It was always such a big deal but not in a fun way, like everyone in my life would make extra sure to mention christ and his birthday and I was supposed to have fun- but not too much fun- lest I forget about it being Jesus's birthday."

Leo began to ramble, "It's like, nobody can open gifts or eat food or do anything without dickriding the lord. "oh, Leonard, sweetie, we just spent all Sunday morning talking about eternal damnation, why do you look so lethargic, God loves you and we love you- conditionally of course. Come help me make cookies for the guests and smile dammit..."" He trailed off, picking at the hem of his shirt. "That's... a stupid example, sorry, it was just what came to mind..." Leo cursed himself internally. If he was going to accidentally spill about some random-ass childhood Christmas memory, it could have at least been something worth complaining about.

There was so much more to it than being inconvenienced when he was like 8. It was a lifetime of little things building up year after year, day by day, and he didn't know how to paint an accurate picture without telling his entire life story.

It wasn't something he knew how to explain to someone, which is why he prefers not to bring it up at all.

Unfortunately, Cal is a very open person when it comes to thoughts and feelings, and sometimes ropes Leo into conversations where he ends up doing the same.

Cal was getting better at keeping some thoughts to himself though!

Mostly just the ones he thought were funny. See, Cal has a blunt sense of humor that Leo doesn't always pick up on, especially when his witty comments are directed towards Leo. It was a work in progress, baby steps, etc.

Cal nodded slowly, self-assumed understanding dawning on his face. He leaned over to place a gentle smooch on Leo's cheek. "Well, maybe we can change things up this year. Make it more about us and less about...you know. The religious stuff."

Leo's eyes widened slightly at Cal's suggestion, the thought of Christmas without the constant reminder of religion was almost foreign to him. "I don't know if that's possible," he murmured, "It's just... ingrained, it’s part of everything." Cal nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, I get it. My family wasn't super religious, but I remember the pressure to be perfect during Christmas. Like, if I messed up even a little, I thought Santa wouldn't bring me presents."

Leo chuckled. "Haha, same... but for me presents were more of an afterthought, because I was kinda busy thinking about going to hell and failing as a person whenever I messed up.."

Cal scoffed "Man, I don't think about that stuff. I mean, I knew about it, but I figured if I went to hell, I would suck up to Satan or whoever's in charge and try to get a cushy role as one of his higher-up subordinates or something. Y'know? So I'd be, like, the one who escorts the damned, or does the devil's chores or something instead of being tortured for eternity!"

Leo couldn't help but laugh at Cal's optimism, "That's... That sounds like something you would think, yes." he said with a small smile. Cal continued, "Yup, and if you ended up there too, I'd use my position and social power to make you exempt from whatever I could. Nothing is ever gonna hurt you, cutie."

"Thanks, but I'm not actually worried about Heaven or Hell or anything anymore, I don't really believe in that stuff like I used to. It's more about the memories, or maybe the traditions- but not literally traditions, more like... habits? Whatever, I still don't know how to explain it so let's just move on..." Leo sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Cal listened intently, trying to grasp the complex web of emotions that Leo was trying to unravel. He could see the exhaustion etched on Leo's face and even though he's pretty sure he gets it, Leo always insists that there's so much more, but he can't say it right.

Cal wrapped an arm around Leo's shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Leo. We can make our own traditions this year. Ones that don't involve religion, or anything that makes you feel all guilty. Just us, doing stuff we enjoy together."

Leo leaned into Cal's embrace, feeling a sense of relief wash over him, mostly because the conversation seemed to be finally changing topics. "That sounds nice," he admitted softly, "Really nice." Cal smiled and planted another kiss on Leo's cheek. "Good."

Cal's mind started racing with ideas, trying to fill the silence. "So, speaking of doing stuff we enjoy..." he began, "I was thinking, maybe we could decorate our place for tomorrow? Get a tree, hang lights, the works?"

Leo looked up at Cal with a raised eyebrow, "You wanna decorate?" Cal nodded eagerly, "Yeah! It'll be fun, right? We can make some hot chocolate, put on some Christmas music, and just...enjoy ourselves." Leo couldn't help but smile at Cal's childlike excitement. "Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

The next evening, Cal came home with several large bags filled with Christmas decorations. Leo sat at the table, sipping on the hot cocoa Cal had made and watching as Cal unpacked everything.

There were twinkling lights, garlands, ornaments of every color and shape, and even a beautiful star for the top of the tree. Leo couldn't help but feel a little excited himself as he looked at it all.

Cal turned to Leo, "Okay, so first things first- the tree!" He pulled out a small, artificial tree and started setting it up in the living room. Leo stood up to join him, helping Cal unravel the branches and straighten them out. Once they finished setting up the tree, Cal handed Leo a box full of ornaments. "Here, you put your nerd ones where you want and I'll do the other ones." he said with a smile.

Leo opened the box and looked inside. There were normal ornaments, but there were also ornaments of dragons, superheroes, and even some of his favorite fictional characters. He picked one up and smiled at Cal. "Dude, these are great! I didn’t know they made ornaments like this!" Cal's grin grew wider, "Yeah? I figured you'd like 'em."

They worked together in companionable silence, hanging ornaments and wrapping garland around the tree. Leo couldn't remember the last time he felt this...normal. Cal's Christmas plans were simple, but they were exactly what Leo needed to start letting go of some of the religious trauma that haunted him every holiday season. And for that, he was grateful.

As they finished decorating the tree, Cal stepped back to admire their work. "Alright, Leonard, whaddya think?"

~~~

Two days before Christmas, Cal and Leo returned home from their shopping trip, arms laden with bags of groceries. Leo struggled to balance a large turkey in one arm while juggling two bags in the other, filled with potatoes and some canned goods.

Cal followed closely behind, carrying bags filled with vegetables, cranberries, and various spices. They were determined to cook a traditional Christmas Eve feast together.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Leo took charge. He set the turkey down on the counter with a loud thump, and started taking out the ingredients they would need. Cal watched in awe as Leo moved around the kitchen with such ease and grace.

Leo enjoyed cooking and preparing food. He always has. When he was younger, it would give him alone time away from his family while they did other Christmas preparations, and the focus and attention that's needed to properly prepare food takes his mind off of his own spiraling thoughts and existential worries for a while.

Cal was more into what happens after the food is made, especially fancy food. Cal grew up in poverty, having to fight for scraps among his siblings. It sounds dramatic, but that's just life for the lower class. He rarely ate anything of quality nor quantity. Luckily, Cal has been able to make up for those lost meals as an adult, and then some. That being said, most of what he would eat was what he was used to- quick processed pitiful excuses for meals- if he somehow had the money. He was never one to spend time cooking or baking.

Cal could tell that Leo was trying to hide his frustration at having to explain every step to him while he helped with his parts of cooking and baking the food, but he appreciated Leo's patient instruction.

They spent hours chopping, mixing, and baking ingredients, laughing at each other's clumsiness (mostly Cal’s) and making small talk about their days. Cal couldn't remember the last time he enjoyed cooking so much. It was kinda fun when it was with Leo!

After some trial and error, they finally managed to put together a delicious spread of roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, homemade rolls and a pumpkin pie for dessert. Store-bought cider was even available as a refreshment if water got too boring.

Leo's baking skills truly shone through with the pumpkin pie, Cal thinks. The sweet aroma filled the apartment, making it feel warm and welcoming despite the chilly winter air outside.

Cal couldn't resist stealing a taste of the leftover filling when Leo wasn't looking, earning him a playful swat on the hand and a stern "You'll spoil your dinner!" from Leo. Cal giggled, "You'd like that, though, wouldn't you."

Leo shook his head playfully.

Yeah, he probably would like that.

~

There was a festive atmosphere in the small apartment as they set the dining table. Leo had insisted on using their best plates and silverware, despite Cal's protests that it wasn't necessary.

Leo promised he would do the dishes though if they did, so Cal caved.

The warm light from the Christmas tree in the living room twinkled off the cutlery, the table was filled with the delicious food they had prepared together, and the air was thick with anticipation to enjoy all of it.

As they sat down to eat, Cal took a deep breath, savoring the delicious smells surrounding them. "Leo, this looks amazing," he said sincerely, "Thank you for doing this with me." Leo smiled softly, "Thank you for wanting to. I forgot how nice some traditions can actually be, I think." They clinked glasses of sparkling cider and dug in, enjoying the fruits of their labor.

Cal ate his fill, making sure to sample everything at least once before pigging out on his favorites.

Throughout the meal, Cal also made sure to compliment Leo on his cooking skills, trying to boost his confidence. He watched Leo's cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and pleasure, and it made him happy to see Leo happy. Cal couldn't remember the last time he felt this content. The food was delicious, and the company was even better. They talked about everything and anything, laughing and joking as usual, but it felt extra special and festive tonight.

When they finished eating, Cal couldn't help but notice that Leo had hardly touched his food. Concerned, he asked, "Is everything okay?"

Leo nodded, "Yeah, I guess I'm just not that hungry." Cal's heart ached for him, he couldn't help but notice Leo's lack of appetite.

Leo normally didn’t eat much, but this was odd, even for him.

He figured Leo's past was still haunting him, even during such a joyous occasion. Maybe he’s not used to having so much food all to himself?

Cal used to feel that way, and then one thing led to another once he started living alone, and it was like a dam had burst. Not being hungry felt so fucking amazing, and feeling full was so new and foreign to him, and boy did he really enjoy it.

He had an online channel where he would post videos of him eating as much as physically possible for a while, and down the line that ended up opening the door for him and Leo to become more than just friends in a financially-necessary living agreement… Thinking back to the movie night incident where they had revealed their kinks to each other, Leo said he didn’t think he was into stuffing himself, but he also said he’d never really tried. And hey, Cal didn’t know he was into it before he tried….

With a gentle smile, Cal leaned back, sighing. He'd eaten enough to be... not hungry, that's for sure. Definitely nowhere near full, especially not by his standards, but he was taking it easy for tonight. Besides, he has to save some food, that way he has leftovers to eat tomorrow on christmas eve.

Cal burps, as politely as he can, and leans forward, "*urp*.. You know, Leo, I've always wondered 'bout something." Leo looked up at him curiously, "Yeah?"

Cal smirked, "How much can you actually fit in that cute little belly of yours?"

It was a topic they had touched upon before in a joking manner, but this time, there was a hint of seriousness in Cal's tone. Leo's eyes widened in surprise before he let out a soft chuckle. "Not much, not as much as you, that's for sure, haha." he admitted, "I guess.. I dunno, unlike you I've never really tried to test my limits."

Cal nodded thoughtfully. "Well.. maybe it's time you did?" he suggested softly, sweetly.

Leo froze for a moment, the suggestion catching him by surprise. "What uh.. what do you mean?" he asked hesitantly.

Cal replied, his voice dropping to a more serious, but still caring tone, "You seem kinda like... I can tell you're stressing in your head about stuff, and you pretty much did all the cooking yourself too!.. And you haven’t really eaten that much, even though you did all that, and.. I was thinking.. maybe we could like, switch things up? Let me take care of you tonight, Leo. Let me help you forget about everything else and just...enjoy, y'know..?"

Leo blushed slightly at Cal's words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. He knew that Cal was right, that he needed to let go and relax, but like this?

Cal had done so much kinky stuff for Leo, it’s about time he did something for Cal in return anyway.

…After a moment of contemplation, Leo nodded slowly. "Alright, Cal.. I'll give it a try." Leo took a deep breath and started loading his plate with more food than he usually would.

Cal watched Leo's determined expression with a soft smile, proud of him for taking the first step. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he also knew how much Leo needed a change of pace. They continued to talk about some current events and laugh, trying to keep things interesting.

Leo began to eat. It was difficult to just keep eating, because he felt full somewhat quickly after the first plate, but he pushed through, wanting to prove to Cal - and maybe himself - that he could do it.

Cal offered him encouragement and teased him gently, making him giggle between bites.

Leo could get used to this. He prefers being on the other end of things, but this was hot too so far. Who doesn’t like feeling nice and warm and full?

As the meal went on, Leo found himself struggling to keep up. He was used to watching Cal’s stuffings, but actually doing it himself was a different experience entirely.

Cal noticed Leo's discomfort, but also saw the determination in his eyes. He decided to take it slow and make sure Leo was okay every step of the way. "Hey, Leo.. take your time, don't push yourself too hard"

Leo nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Yeah, hah… I’ve been wolfing this down pretty fast huh.”

Cal snickered, “Remember, it's not a race, bud!”

As Leo continued eating, his stomach started to protest. Intermittent bubbly sounds came from within his increasingly overfull tummy.

ggrrllp.. glp… grrluuRRp…. rrrlghh.. “Hnng…”

He wasn't used to consuming so much food at once, and it was beginning to show.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his face wrinkling as cramps started to form in his stomach. Despite the discomfort, Leo pushed forward, wanting to prove to Cal - and definitely himself - that he could do this.

He hunched over before quickly straightening back up, as if hunching over only made the feeling worse, and he let out a soft whimper, which caught Cal's attention immediately.

Cal's expression turned concerned when his boyfriend’s face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t a good whimper, "Leo, are you okay?" he asked. Leo nodded, trying to downplay the pain. "I'm fine, I just.. It hurts, up here," he admitted sheepishly, motioning towards the area above his belly button.

Leo was thin, and his belly wasn't used to being so stretched. His shirt was still fitting almost just as it was before, but his stomach was hard and tight to the touch, and a small but noticeable lump was visible beneath his shirt.

Leo's voice was filled with a mixture of pain and desperation as he described his feelings to Cal. His stomach felt heavy and clogged, like a rock weighing him down. Leo had now resorted to nibbling slowly at a single forkful of the pie.

He couldn't help but let out small moans of discomfort as he tried to adjust his position. No matter how he sat, he still felt a tight, stinging, bloated feeling in his overstuffed belly.

The cramps were becoming more frequent and intense, but strangely enough, Leo still found himself getting… somewhat turned on by the situation, he guesses...

The sensation of fullness was foreign and uncomfortable, but the idea of Cal being so proud of him was making him feel things he couldn't quite put into words- figuratively and literally.

Finally unable to bear it any longer, Leo pushed his plate away and both hands flew to his middle, grasping and clutching right below his chest, feeling the strange new difference in the area where his stomach began to protrude outwards. "Cal.. ugh.. u-unf...." he groaned, his eyes pleading for relief. "It hurts.. my belly, I can't- I dunno how you do it..."

Cal felt a surge of desire for a moment, but he could see the genuine pain in Leo's eyes, and knowing that ruined any enjoyment he would have had otherwise listening to Leo’s whines.

He got up from his own seat and carefully placed his hand on Leo's hard, distended belly, rubbing circles gently. Leo's breath caught in his throat at the sensation. He leaned back into Cal's touch, letting out a soft whine. "I've never eaten so much at once.. oh my god.. hic..." he mumbled, his eyes closing halfway.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's futile attempt at a stuffing, unable to help himself.

He knew how much of a challenge this was for him, though. Seeing Leo so squirmy and his belly so swollen was arousing, but seeing him in pain wasn't something Cal wanted.

He moved closer, taking Leo's hand in his other and interlacing their fingers together. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to Leo's forehead. "It's okay, babe. You don't have to force yourself. We can try again some other day if you want to." he said reassuringly. He knew how hard this was for Leo, and he didn't want to push him too far. “Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?”

Leo tried to answer between breathless groans “unngh… no.. n-nhmm.. Maybe? I feel more like my stomach- ngh! I know it's not but.. urgh, feels like.. t-the skin’s gonna rip open.. ‘n pop…” Since Cal was already rubbing Leo’s belly, Leo’s hands were desperately gripping and palming his own chest as he spoke, as if trying to contribute whatever he could on just the off-chance that it might help him feel better.

As Leo squirmed in his seat, Cal's eyes widened slightly when he thought of something that might help.

He could guess from the description as well as the look on Leo's face, the subtle movements and ways he kept shifting in his seat, that maybe he was struggling with gas pain.

He leaned in, kissing Leo's cheek, then moving over a bit and momentarily taking his hands off of Leo’s aching belly. His lips brushing against Leo's ear, "D’you want me to help you out, Leo? I think I have an idea.." he whispered seductively.

Leo's eyes snapped open at that, and he nodded frantically. He trusted Cal, and he knew he wouldn't judge him, hell, he's the one he's doing all this for.

Besides, he needed help. Badly.

Cal smiled and moved behind Leo, reaching around the back of the chair again and placing both of his hands on either side of Leo's belly. He began to massage him gently, deliberately pushing into certain places, trying to coax out any trapped air bubbles.

Leo's tummy wasn't as big as Cal's usually got, since Leo wasn't used to stretching out his stomach. Not to mention it took significantly less food to fill him up to the gills.

But for someone of Leo's capacity and (in)experience, it was clear that he'd genuinely pushed himself, this was no act.

“I’m so.. eugh… it hurts, it h- the cramps..” Leo whined miserably

“Fuck, it’s like.. it’s all stuck.. mmhmmfuck!…. My guts.. I can't move my body or bend anywhere, it hurts, oh my god, ugh.. B-Breathing in hurts..” Leo tried to breathe steadily, struggling to fully inhale, which made him even more panicked.

Cal could feel Leo's stomach expanding and contracting beneath his hands as the meal tried to digest, the trapped air tried to escape. It was moving a little bit, but obviously to Leo’s discomfort.

"Just breathe, Leo.. Let it out slowly, just focus on breathing in and out slowly, small breaths, okay?" Cal coaxed, his voice low and soothing. Leo nodded, taking small, but focused breaths as Cal continued to massage him, each exhale coming out as more of a strained moan.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Leo let out a short silent puff of a burp, one that seemed to surprise him coming up, as he flinched during its release.

*uuhh-hhhr* …

Cal wanted to make fun of Leo for his body's weird way of burping, it was hilarious to him, but.. He figured he could save it for later, instead, just being happy that Leo is burping at all for now.

"There ya go, feel any better?" he cooed affectionately as stood behind Leo's chair and continued rubbing his belly for him. Leo grunted halfheartedly. “Maybe?...”

Leo's face scrunched up in concentration as he attempted to expel more gas, his stomach still rumbling and gurgling uncomfortably. This went on for a good 8 to 10 minutes with no significant resolution.

But eventually his stomach bubbled so loudly that both of them could hear it, and both of them froze up. Leo sighed with relief as he felt everything suddenly shift downwards.

He could literally hear the gas bubbles and mush of what he'd eaten traveling deeper into his guts- It was kind of gross, but his stomach felt less tight. “Ohhh, oh my god, did you hear that? it-” he exclaimed, but before he could finish, Leo felt an intense pressure at his body’s backdoor.

He didn’t even realize it was happening at first, but a long, hot, silent fart hissed as it escaped through his cheeks. It was like someone opened the lip of a full balloon and let all the air pour out.

*phhfrrrrrrrshrhhpt…. fshhhh~hhhhhssssss…*

It smelled like actual shit, and even Leo himself quickly covered his nose with his sleeve.

Cal began to laugh, but quickly covered his mouth and nose with both his hands and coughed, “o- *cough* oh my god, dude..”

Leo was frozen in his seat for a minute, worryingly checking below himself making sure he didn’t let anything else go- he didn’t think he did, but he also didn't think he was going to fart like that either. Thankfully, it actually was just really rank air.

Leo was the first to speak up a few moments after the air cleared, “I feel like, 10 pounds lighter, that was insane..” He slumped back in the chair, now able to do so without searing cramps.

His stomach feels ever so slightly less tight from the outside too, as if it had deflated a little.

"Cal... I don't know how.. you do this so easily," he groaned deliriously, his cheeks flushing further at the thought of what he'd just done.

The fart was a huge relief as most of the air in his intestines seemed to be released, but he was still full of food and whatever was in his upper stomach. "I ate like... almost hic two plates of turkey.. So much mashed potatoes.. oooohhh, the sides too... were all so good, but I can't.." Leo let out another small, soundless burp. "*uhp*.. I feel so full... so stuffed." He squirmed in his seat.

Cal couldn't help but grin at Leo's words, knowing just how little food that really was compared to what he could consume.

But seeing Leo like this, so vulnerable and needy, while it was incredibly hot, now is not the time to be showing off your capacity, he can save that for another time when Leo is the one feeding him.

"It takes practice, babe. You'll get there eventually- if you want to of course." he said encouragingly. Leo responded very quickly, "I don't think I do."

Cal snickered. His fingers continued to massage Leo's tight belly, feeling each individual rumble beneath the surface, and how bloated his lower tummy was getting again as the next round of food patiently waited its turn to move to his intestines.

Leo's discomfort seemed to grow, but Cal knew that with some time, patience, and encouragement, he'd be able to work through it. He hoped Leo knew that too.

"Let's try something else," Cal suggested, after a moment. He leaned down and pressed another kiss to the top of Leo's head. "You did so well, now you just gotta rest. Why don't we take this to the couch? It'll be more comfortable for you to relax there."

Leo hesitated for a second, knowing that standing up would mean jostling his overfull stomach. He looked at Cal, his eyes wide and pleading, unsure if he could manage it. But the thought of relief was too enticing to completely ignore. "Cal... I can barely sit here without feeling like I'm gonna explode, I don't know if I'll make it to the couch in one piece- heh.. One Piece.."

While Leo complained, Cal had taken a hold of Leo from under his armpits, lifting him up out of his chair. "Come on, I've got you," he reassured, helping Leo stand up carefully.

Leo let out a small gasp as his belly shifted heavily, the movement sending new waves of discomfort and slight nausea throughout his body. Cal kept his hand firmly on Leo's lower back, supporting him as he wobbled slightly on unsteady legs. They made their way towards the couch, Cal guiding him with gentle encouragement.

Once again, Cal internally found it very amusing that Leo seemed so off-balance and disoriented.

Cal usually had an actual ball-belly to deal with after a stuffing, physically putting off his center of balance.

But Leo, even at his fullest right now, didn't have more than a small bump. …He didn't doubt that Leo probably felt bigger than he looked, though.

As they finally reached the couch, Cal helped Leo lay down on his side, propping a few pillows behind him to make sure he stayed in a comfortable position. Leo let out a relieved sigh, but the relief was short-lived.

Cal settled next to Leo on the couch, continuing to massage his bloated tummy with slow, soothing circles. He knew just how badly Leo wanted to burp or fart to find some relief, and the anticipation was making the atmosphere in the room thick with tension, mostly for Leo.

While Cal would usually be blasting from both ends, if anything he would be struggling to release air fast enough to keep up with whatever was being produced inside his body, Leo's stomach didn't seem to know what to do in such a situation.

Leo’s guts seemed to take their sweet time moving his meal around his body, making sure whatever came before it was completely done and empty before moving on.

It also seemed to release everything in one single movement if it could, instead of periodically along the way, bit by bit.

So everything would build up, each step in the digestion process trying to single handedly take care of everything Leo had so hastily eaten before letting it move along, so he couldn’t force anything out, or really will anything to move any further along than it was.

Leo's breath hitched every so often as he tried to release some gas, his face contorting in desperation. Leo's face would scrunch up in pure agony as he fought against his body, desperately trying to release some of the pressure building inside him.

After what felt like an eternity, his body finally gave way again.

With an almost audible 'pop', his ass released a long, slow fart that lasted a good four seconds. It was just like the first one, silent in terms of a fart, but they could both hear a sort of ffffshhhhhh.

The relief that washed over Leo was anything but quiet. He stayed tense a few seconds after it was over, but then immediately went limp and moaned, a mix between pleasure and pain. "Oooouuhh fuck, I needed that..."

His belly was still disgustingly full, but for a moment he felt relief as he was able to get rid of some gas.

He looked up at Cal through half-lidded blue eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he'd managed to let something out.

Cal couldn't help but stare at Leo's belly as it deflated slightly from the release, his own cock twitching in his pants at the sight. He could only imagine how relieving that must feel for Leo. Lots of buildup, huge payoff.

He loved watching him like this- he loved seeing Leo in pleasure. It was like a drug, and Cal was hopelessly addicted. Unfortunately, the smile faded as the relief did, and Leo’s stomach went back to working on whatever was next on the metaphorical conveyor belt of slop to digest.

Leo didn’t look like he was really enjoying the situation as a whole, just the small moments whenever the pressure was reduced.

Cal leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Leo's cheek before moving his hand to rest on Leo's tummy again, this time reaching up under his shirt. He wants to try and make Leo feel good somehow.

Leo's face flushed brighter, but he didn't pull away from Cal's touch. Instead, he leaned into it slightly, enjoying the feeling of Cal's hand on his skin. He let out another silent puff of a burp, followed by a tiny fart. This time audible, but squeaky, small, and useless. "It’s rumbly again…" he admitted quietly.

Leo's body shook as he continued to try and expel gas, his tummy rumbling and protesting against the external coercion of the contents within it.

He groaned as he pushed, trying to force air out any way he could. He knew that he needed to let some of this pressure go, but it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, nothing would come out. He felt Cal's hand move slowly across his stomach, feeling the movement of food sloshing around inside.

Cal's touch sent shivers down his spine. It was becoming more and more apparent to Leo that he should leave the stuffing to Cal, but while he's in this situation anyway, he wants to at least try and make himself burp or something.

He clenched up, preparing to burp again, but it was quickly followed by a gurgling sound from deep in his belly. "Ugh.. It's all moving around.." Leo moaned, "It feels like it's trying to digest.. like it's all mixing.."

Cal's brown eyes glinted mischievously as he leaned down to whisper in Leo's ear. "Yyyep. That's the food moving through you, babe. Your poor little tummy is working hard." He nipped at Leo's earlobe a little as he kissed the side of his neck, enjoying the way he squirmed beneath his touch.

Leo groaned again, this time more from arousal than discomfort. The thought of Cal touching him up, kissing and nuzzling into his face and neck from beside him, rubbing his belly.. he was being so.. so TOUCHED. Which was hot to him no matter what. He felt his cock twitch against his pants.

"Cal..." He breathed out, his eyes pleading.

Cal's fingers danced lightly over Leo's belly button, feeling the way it dipped in and out as Leo tried to burp again. "Okay, hold on- just relax, babe. Let it happen naturally. I cant keep kissing on ya if you keep clenching up and moving around, right?.." He said softly.

Leo let out another sigh, but followed Cal's advice. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, trying to ignore the discomfort in favor of the warmth of Cal's hands.

After a few moments, he felt a bubble forming in his stomach, moving its way upwards.

He opened his mouth and let it escape, releasing a soft burp that sounded like *hup*. It wasn't much, but it helped. There was still a bit more on its way.

Finally, Leo let out a proper burp.

It was loud, and it rumbled deep in his chest, coming out with a satisfying *UUuuorrrrpP*.

His eyes widened as he felt the relief flood through him just from hearing such a sound come out of his own mouth, and his cock hardened even more against his pants.

Burping and listening to how people in his videos would burp was always something that turned him on, and the fact that he had done it after such a struggle only amplified the sensation tenfold.

He groaned softly, his body tensing as he tried to control his arousal.

"Oh my god.." Leo breathed out, eyes wide with excitement, "Holy shit, finally! I’ve never been able t- that's like the first time in forever that I've actually burped like that!.." The release of air felt like heaven, not to mention the fact that he actually managed to somehow burp all loud like a normal person for once.

He couldn't help but arch his back slightly as he let out another smaller burp. "fuck..." He muttered somewhat dissappointingly, looking down at his crotch, where a visible bulge was forming.

Cal grinned, watching Leo's body's reaction with delight, seeing his boyfriend genuinely turned on like this. Jackpot!

Leo's breath hitched as Cal's hand began to roam lower, tracing the outline of Leo's erection through his jeans.

Leo shifted uncomfortably as Cal continued to massage his stomach, feeling another burp build up inside of him.

He hoped it would make a sound like that other one.

Leo didn't like being this full - it was hot seeing other people like this, but there was no pleasure in the discomfort here for him personally. But he couldn't deny that the act of burping - finally being able to release some of that trapped air - was turning him on, so the situation was somewhat salvageable.

Cal noticed the change in Leo's demeanor and took this as an opportunity, reaching down from Leo's belly and rubbing one of his hands against the top of Leo's leg. "Does it feel good when you finally get one out?" He asked, amused.

Leo could only nod. Cal leaned down to nuzzle his neck, kissing lightly at the sensitive skin, making sure Leo could hear each smooch. Leo whined softly as he felt Cal's hot breath against his ear. “I’ve never heard you burp like that before, you almost sounded like me.. almost..”

Cal sat continued to work on Leo's stomach, to manipulate it to get the reactions he wanted, sitting beside him and rubbing, pressing, and pushing air up and out instead of just soothing him or helping it digest.

He could feel the tension building up inside his boyfriend once again, ready for another release. "C'mon babe, let it out for me." He coaxed, pressing his other hand into Leo’s crotch, taking hold of what he could through the denim and giving it a light squeeze.

Leo's entire body jerked forward as another burp erupted from his lips - this one was short, but it made a burp sound, which was enough for Leo right now.

"*URrp* Fuck.. Cal.." He moaned, his hips shifting involuntarily, his hardening cock rubbing against the fabric of his underwear beneath his pants.

Cal's own arousal was growing by the second, listening to Leo's desperate sounds and feeling him writhe beneath his touch.

He slipped both of his hands under Leo's shirt now, running his fingers across his sensitive skin. Leo gasped, arching his back again.

"You like that? I bet'cha feel good getting that out huh.. Let me distract you from your bellyache for a while.." Cal mewled, teasing Leo's nipples a little bit. He could feel exactly where his usually almost concave stomach now bulged out below his ribcage.

Leo nodded frantically, unable to form coherent words. The touch and feel of his heavier partner leaning into him was driving him wild.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's response, leaning in even closer to press yet another gentle kiss against his cheek. "That's my good boy," he whispered, his hands still massaging Leo's chest rather than his stomach.

He knew how much Leo loved praise, and even though he could tell stuffing himself wasn't exactly his thing, he wanted to make sure Leo knew that Cal still appreciated the effort.

Leo let out a small whine as one of Cal's hands trailed downwards from his chest, his breaths coming out shallow and quick, but not because of gas pains this time.

He could feel his belly rolling and shifting under Cal's palm, and even though it was uncomfortable, he tried to focus on the sensation of being touched like this instead.

Cal repositioned himself, gently rotating and then lowering Leo backwards, hovering atop him, then laying down beside him longways on the couch.

He held the blonde boy close, not wanting either of them to fall off.

As Cal spooned Leo, one hand on one of his nipples and the other rubbing his belly, letting his hand slip generously low, so that Leo's belly wasn't the only thing being rubbed.

Cal hoped Leo was as turned on as he was.

Going by the rigidity he felt when his hand rubbed Leo's crotch, it seemed to be the case.

Leo's stomach gurgled loudly, a slow, low rumble that made him wince..

Cal was quick to begin comforting and distracting him from it. "You're such a trooper," Cal murmured, his voice husky with arousal, "Trying new things for me.. I love you sooooo much... this was good, 'cause now we know that you're gonna stick to feeding... or maybe some kind of bloating- something that makes you burp without upsetting your belly?...." Cal caught himself rambling and cut himself off.

"Uh, forget that right now. I'm just brainstorming." His lips moved to Leo's neck, nibbling and sucking on it gently as his hands continued to roam.

The words sent a shiver down Leo's spine regardless of what was being said, and he turned his head to try and get a better look at Cal.

He couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth despite the discomfort. "I-I'll try anything once.." Leo managed to say between gasps, another burp bubbling up deep inside of him.

Cal chuckled again, completely turning Leo around towards him to capture his lips in a kiss. It started slow and gentle, but soon turned heated. Before either of them could pull away, the aforementioned gas came rushing up and out of Leo's mouth. Another burpy-sounding burp, but somewhat muffled...

Because Cal's mouth was on his.

Leo pulled away from the kiss abruptly, cheeks flushing as he realized what had happened. "Oh shit, Cal! I'm s-sorry..." He began to apologize, but Cal only smiled wider and pulled him back in for another kiss, cutting him off.

Leo was visibly embarrassed but.. Cal's enthusiasm made it hard for him to stay that way.

As they continued making out, Leo couldn't help but notice that his belly seemed to be settling a bit. He was certainly still very full, but it didn't hurt as bad, he just felt heavy.

Maybe the burping was helping more than he thought. Or maybe it was just Cal's touch successfully distracting him.

He couldn't decide which felt better right now, and didn’t really care either.

Cal's hands never stopped roaming Leo's body, massaging his stomach gently now and again to coax out any shy bubbles.

Most of the time Cal just let his own belly squish against Leos, it was inevitable in their position anyways. Leo found himself relaxing into it, letting out soft moans, wrapping his legs around Cal’s to squish himself even further into the man’s softer and more pillowy stomach, feeling it against his own sore, rookie tummy.

They rolled around together on the couch, their bodies pressed against each other as they explored each other's mouths with their tongues, and bodies with their hands.

Eventually, Leo felt another burp building up inside him, but he tried to suppress it this time. However, Cal seemed determined to draw it out of him.

He pressed his lips firmly against Leo's, his tongue sweeping into the thinner man's mouth, and Leo couldn't help but relax. The burp slipped out, echoing through both of their mouths.

Cal moaned softly, and Leo could feel the vibration of it against his lips. It was such an odd sensation, but also strangely erotic.

Leo couldn't believe Cal was actually enjoying that.. but alas, he was.

He imagined himself in Cal's position, which was infinitely more arousing. Thinking about being in the opposite role made his cock throb within the confines of his increasingly tight and increasingly moist pants.

Leo's initial arousal wasn't necessarily stemming from the pressure of his overfilled stomach, rather the fact that he was able to actually burp for once. This was a rare occurrence for him, one he didn't know how to manually replicate without forcing himself into such an uncomfortable state.

Leo couldn't believe how turned on he was getting right now, especially considering his discomfort. But the mixture of Cal's praise, touch, and the sensations he was feeling now made it impossible for him to resist.

He's really trying to savor the good parts. Like how each burp brought with it a wave of relief that he could feel AND hear as it left him.

And the fact that Cal seemed to be enjoying it only added fuel to the fire burning inside him.

Leo's hands grasped small fistfuls of Cal's shirt as he felt himself getting closer to the edge, the tension coiling inside him was too much to handle. "fu- oh fuck, I'm close!..."

He breathed heavily, arching against Cal's touch, "uhnn.. Cal, pleasegofaster, hah~harder, f-hurry...." his voice trailed off at the end until he was whispering a garbled variation of "faster" and "gonna cum" with each exhale.

Cal nodded wordlessly, trying to comply with his lover's request. He quickly unbuttoned Leo’s pants and reached into them. His hand pressed harder into the outline of Leo's hard cock, applying just the right amount of pressure, trying to squeeze and grasp it as best he could through his underwear with each tug.

Leo was doing some work of his own, forcefully grinding and thrusting into and against Cal's hand.

The inside of Leo's underwear near the tip of his cock was slick with precum making it all the more satisfying (and all the less difficult) to feel the fabric rub against his dick, the damp heat trapped inside under the layers of his clothes.

The pressure inside Leo grew, building with each thrust. He could feel his climax approaching like a freight train, his entire body tensing as he struggled to contain himself. "Cal... fuck.. fuck.." Leo moaned again, louder this time, his voice desperate and embarrassing, "c-cumming.. ah- I-I'm gonnacum!~"

Leo's entire body went rigid, his back arching against the back cushions of the couch as he cried out, releasing a string of high pitched moans that were cut off almost as soon as they started by his own gasps for air.

He came hard, cum spilling into the confines of his underwear, drenching the fabric with his release.

Cal groaned into Leo's ear as he felt the hot wetness against his hand, his own arousal spiking higher. He didn't stop rubbing though, even after Leo's cock had begun to twitch and soften. He continued stickily until the last few drops were squeezed out of him and he was milked dry.

Leo was left panting, his face flushed and eyes glazed over, his body feeling heavy, but sated.

Cal pulled away from him, an uncharacteristically needy look on his face. Cal then brought his dampened hand to his own crotch, reaching into his pants and undoing them quickly with his other hand. "mmmph, Leo, your face when y- it's- you can't just..."

Cal rolled over and quickly whipped out his own dick, ensuring Leo was out of the ‘splash zone’ while he recovered from his own orgasm.

As Cal hastily brought himself to release, Leo lay panting on the couch, trying to regain control of his breathing.

The last few minutes as well as the hours prior had been intense, and he was still feeling the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through him.

At least he didn't feel like his belly was going to explode anymore.

He looked over at Cal, whose body was now facing away from him, hand working feverishly at his cock. Leo couldn't see much from this angle, but he didn't need to.

He could hear Cal's heavy breathing, and the wet sounds of his hand working against his erection- Cal was stroking himself with the same hand he had just used to rub Leo’s cumsoaked boxers. One could only guess, for maximum efficiency.

Leo felt another burp coming on, but this one was different. It wasn't forced, or painful, but rather a result of his relaxed state after cumming.

He let it out with a soft sigh, "hu-urp... uuuhp- ahh..", feeling it roll through his body one last time.

It wasn't as loud as the previous ones, it was more silent and airy like how he normally burped,, but it somehow managed to fill the room with its presence, serving as a reminder of the strange new dynamic they had just shared.

Cal's hand stilled for a brief moment, his head flopping down onto the couch, his grip on his cock tightening before he let out a loud, strained sigh. Leo could see Cal's shoulders tense, and hear the wet sounds grow faster before stopping abruptly, then continuing in slow, jerky pumps.

He also saw ropes of white sputter onto the carpet as Cal lay parallel to him, facing the outward side of the couch, panting heavily. Leo couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of pride at having brought Cal to climax as well.

"Fuuuuuuuck.. I'll clean that don't worry," Cal started, still catching his breath, "Merry Christmas, though.. damn!" he exclaimed triumphantly, rolling back over to face Leo.

"Happy holidays to you too..." Leo replied weakly, his breath still uneven as he tried to recover from the intense release.

He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He looked down at his damp clothes and Cal's cum splattered across the carpet and shook his head.

This wasn't exactly how he pictured spending Christmas, this was quite possibly the most Christ-less Christmas he's ever had in his life.

He reflexively began to feel bad, but the feeling never came down as hard as it usually did, maybe it was because he was looking into Cal's beautiful brown eyes, and for once, he welcomed the suffocating closeness of eye contact for a while.

He stared into Cal's eyes for a good 5-mississippis before having to look somewhere else on his face!

He’d never looked that deeply into them before, not in this light at least, because he saw hints of hazel within the smooth brown pools surrounding Cal’s iris.

For as short as those 5 seconds of prolonged eye contact may have seemed, Leo cherished and savored each one.

Leo pushed the sexual guilt down for later, as usual- but it didn't feel as urgent this time.

Like if you were to put off a specific assignment until the last day while you completed other ones, until it just makes more sense to cut your losses, count that zero into your grade, and work on other projects instead of staying up all night and stressing. Using your energy on the stuff you could actually feasibly finish instead.

But like, the good responsible mental version of that.

Having Cal made it easier for Leo to procrastinate on coming back to the guilt until he hardly had the energy to dwell on it, and by that time, he was usually having fun with his partner again anyways, focused on another activity or conversation.

In truth, he was thankful for Cal's understanding and willingness to help him explore this fetish of his, even though Leo didn't like being the one to stuff his own tummy, but hey, now they know, and they had both found a way to make it work in the end.

Leo sat up and leaned against the armrest of the couch, staring at the ceiling in silence for a moment before his stomach bubbled.

Leo's guts were different from Cal's guts in many ways, as evidenced by recent events.

Leo was unable to get a belly as easily, and there was a reason behind that called a superfast metabolism, for better or for worse. Once things were done, they were done. They were done all at once and suddenly, like they were in the earlier stages of digestion.

Stuff didn't stick around inside him to absorb and ferment like Cal, whose body adapted in his early years to savor every miniscule morsel and keep itself full for as long as possible.

Leo climbed over the armrest of the couch and stood up quickly, walking away in a rush. "Huh- hey, where're you going?" Cal asked, confused, pushing himself up to see what all the hubbub was about.

"..oh! heh." he chuckled, watching Leo as he quickly and quietly disappeared into the bathroom.

(((THE END)))

------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading, if you did read it. Comments are encouraged and appreciated, let me know what you liked and any ideas or suggestions for future writings! -

[naivegh0st]

Okay so this was originally going to be a reblog to this post but I had more to say than I thought I did and it got too long and rambly to be a reblog so here are my Frederica interpretations/headcanons and I know we don't have much to go off of but she is a whole character in my head.

So for me a big thing about Frederica is that I think she's very good at what she does like at being a Knight but not good enough for the Gunnhildr standards and she internalised that so hard. I just think the Gunnhildr's have impossibly high standards for their heirs because of how prestigious they are as a family in Mondstadt. (They where the first family to follow and be blessed by Barbatos and fought alongside him to promote him to Anemo Archon, like yeah there are other important families in Mondstadt but they are the ones). And like if you were to ask anyone in the knights what they thought of Frederica they'd only have good things to say, but to Frederica she's kind of a bit of a failure because like she didn't get one of the four winds titles, she "lost" to Varka - someone who as far as we know isn't from any important family- and not only that but she didn't get a vision. And we know that her position in the knights has "long surpassed any ordinary Captain" yet she chooses to stay as a Commander, possibly because she kind of feels there's no point as she wasn't deemed to have the potential to lead and she's like "Well maybe I can just be an amazing field knight" and maybe maybe maybe if she keeps throwing herself on the front lines in defence of Mondstadt she'll be recognised by the gods.

And then while still quite young she meets Seamus and they fall in love and get married and have kids (maybe because they want to or maybe because she's a Gunnhildr so she must produce an heir, or maybe a bit of both) and then she has this kid and its like this chance to be a good Gunnhildr again, by producing this amazing heir, and also she probably doesn't want her kid to feel how she felt, like she's good but not enough to be a Gunnhildr, so she's just so determined to make this kid into the ideal Gunnhildr, at the sacrifice of being a good mother. And I think this would cause her to clash with Seamus, who's a bit taken aback by how authoritarian and demanding she is of this kid, and put strain on their relationship, like they're having frequent arguments about how they should parent Jean. And then they have Barbara and when she's old enough Frederica starts doing the same to her as she did to Jean, but Barbara didn't take to it as well and maybe Frederica kind of sees herself in that because even though Barbara's not good now, she could train her whole life and improve, but she'd never be a Jean, or a Diluc or a Varka. And I think seeing Barbara struggle kind of reignites her whole fear of failing to be a Gunnhildr and she ups both of their training and that's what makes Seamus realise that there is no getting through to her, that he's been asking and asking and asking her to tone it back for years and she had, in little ways, but it takes only one thing to go slightly wrong and now all those conversations and arguments may as well not have happened and so he just gives up on trying to get through to her and just files for a divorce, with the aim to at least get Barbara away from Frederica as it's kind of too late for Jean at this point.

And this leaves Frederica with a lot of unwanted attention/speculation as I reckon her and Seamus where seen as like The Ideal Couple so for them to divorce would have people speculating (especially as there's fuck all else to do in Mondstadt). And obviously she's just been divorced which I don't think she'd take too well bc I think she really did love Seamus and despite feeling she's not good enough she's still a Gunnhildr, she's still proud, she's still in control and getting divorced would obviously be a jab at that pride and a stripping away of her control of the situation. And I think all of this would give her a kind of sunk cost fallacy like view of Jean's success, like she's lost so much because of how she chose to raise Jean and instead of self reflecting and being like "huh maybe I did something bad" she just sees the consequences as the price she had to pay for the prize of Jean's success. And so she just really zeroes in on making Jean a good Knight and in doing so destroys their already fragile relationship (I think it would especially have this effect as I always headcanoned Jean to be abt 12-13ish when her parents divorced which is a really emotionally volatile age anyway, nevermind having your parents divorce and your sister taken away and then the parent you're left with is just treating you even worse and you just don't really get why any of this is happening but all you do know is you're with your mum now and you're feeling the worst you ever have). And then there's just the two of them in this massive house and they're both just really upset but don't have the relationship to talk about it and they just fall into this kind of cycle where Frederica is upset and lets it alter her treatment of Jean, who then gets more upset and Frederica sees this and is like "why does my daughter hate me doesn't she see all that I've lost for her" and then gets more upset and so on and so forth. I do think they're arguing a lot around this time until Jean gets older and kind of mellows out and just gives up on arguing back because it gets her nowhere and Frederica's like "Finally, all my shouting and demanding and strictness and probably a handful of instances of physical abuse have payed off and worked and now my daughter is great again. And look! She just got her Lion of The South title I must be doing such a good job."

And I think she views how she raised Jean as necessary to make her into the knight she is, but when Jean moves out she's kind of like "huh, I have absolutely no friends or family, only the vague respect of random civilians." And only then does she try to amend her relationship with her daughters (because only then does she realise she doesn't really have one, I think she viewed motherhood as something that would just happen, that one day Jean and Barbara would just kind of accept how she raised them and love her anyway), but she can't exactly just go and talk to them because they never really had a relationship like that in the first place, so she just kind of sends gifts that leave especially Jean really conflicted to receive.

[deathits3lf]

wolf359. its grasped me again.

I have become obsessed again. To the point I wrote a ABSURDLY LONG ramble about Warren Kepler. I wrote it in discord messages and I will not be taking the time to fix the typos. There are so many.

But yes, I wrote a... character analysis? It's honestly just about the last season.

⚠️Major spoilers ahead. For last season, the finale, anywhere past 45 basically. If you have not completed wolf 359 entirely, well, this will be the end all be all of spoilers.

oooh. I should put a highlight here: but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you." <<<< i love this part. im so smart. squints. im actually not but i was onto somethin

And be warned that it is long. Google docs says 1563 words. I'll put it under this read more.

Have fun. I hope this is any bit comprehensible.

--------------------------

okokok. so. warren kepler. i could talk about this man for HOURS, i swear. but i need to START somewhere so why not start at his death. I love thinking aboiut it... and by that i mean i hate thinking about it. buts its great. so tragic. i love characters dying like that; they are introduced as a douche. dickhead, antagonist, honestly villain. not likeable, really. (by that i mean well written but the character themselves being THE WORSTTT) (although i love him i DID used to HATE HIM) (i always joked about wanting to throw him out of an airlock... no seriously. i didnt know. help) 

BUT, throughout the show, despite them being a dick, we are shown some moments of them almost.. being human. cause they are. everyone, despite how mean or stuckup or 'emotionless' they are, is human, and humans feel emotions. 

okok, so at this point some hate em, some love em (altho mostly lovehate), but overall they are.... antagonistic but with the potential. not enough potential however.- (quick sidetrack here, i swear i get back to my point eventually) 

The Last Season. oml, the first time I watched it, before I knew what kepler was doing, I thought,"kepler is acting weird". kepler is acting almost nervous, and something just felt off. yes it was because cutter was there, kepler was used to being in charge and aggressive about it to make his subordinates feel scared and therefore listen to him. which in the last season, is clear where he learned that from; cutter. but now cutter was back and he was the subordinate and scared one. he wasnt The Most Powerful One There anymore. BUT ALSO 

Maybe he acted weirdly because,,listen,, he was already planning something against them. it makes sense. he was sort of kept in the dark, but he knew something was going to happen.

He had to watch his crew like that, despite having just held a mutany against him, he still knew them. they were stuck in space together, they knew eachother, but also JACOBI. kepler interacting with mindcontrolled jacobi was. thats a rant for later on. 

But. He had just had his morals rocked. His right hand man, his most loyal companion, betrayed him, tried to get him killed, he lost his other teammate- no, friend, and well, if you look closely enough he really had some time to think about it all. 

And thats where he decided that he was not on the side he always had been on, the one he worked for for god knows how many years, the one who he had based his entire mindset on, and maybe he realized that his idea of a bigger picture didnt line up with Goddard's. 

Maybe he was doing it for Jacobi. and maxwell. Maybe he was doing it for the whole crew. or the whole world. Maybe he really, truely, cared. deep down.

I also think that he wasnt planning to make it out alive. 

He didnt want to face it afterwards. He convinced himself that this was the only way- that he couldn't possibly have made it out alive and that sacrificing himself for the greater good was the only way.

He could have survived that. The hardest part would have been convincing the others to let him on the homebound ship. (the sol i believe?) jacobi begged him to stay. oml that scene. another rant for later on. 

But going back to my first point- I love that they really gave you one last reason to care about his death. If he died still on goddards side, even if he seemed a bit hesitant, that was still the cowards choice. they really said "hey he actually cares about the greater good and to an extent, the others. anyway immediatly after that revelation kill him." They gave us a reason to cry.

I love characters like that. You hate em, but before they die, you are given a reason to give a fuck. Really wrenches your heart. 

back to other points. rachel, had been SHOT. and yet managed to push him into the airlock and close the door. you could say he was overconfident, but I believe thats uncharacteristic. hes always on guard, always thinking of every way something could go wrong and how to account for it. He should have thought about rachel fighting back. he could have stopped her, but he had already accepted that he would, and perhaps should die here. perhaps he didnt want to face everything after it all. how he might actually care about ppl. how fucked up he acted and all his bad actions. and also, how he could keep living beyond His Job. the artist formerly known as warren kepler. if he stopped Making Art, who was he to go back to? warren kepler didnt exist. he was just a husk. 

thats why i love reading Kepler Back From The Dead fics. it would have been SO INTERESTING. although its fair they wanted to wrap up arcs, or at least leave them on something somewhat satisfying, and kepler was definitely NOT done cooking. put that man back in the microwave he is STILL cold in the middle. 

anyway. kepler was a coward for dying but at least cowardice is human. 

>He couldnt tell anyone. What he was planning. couldnt even tell jacobi, "hey, im on ur side and also im going to stop it all. and sacrifice myself" because rachel was there. rachel was watching, and she was arrogant that kepler couldnt possibly not be on goddards side. yeah she probably definitely knew he cared about jacobi, but the others? she was not expecting him to actually have the confidence to go aginast CUTTER. 

jacobi begged for him to be on their side, argued good arguements,

but jacobi thought. there is no way this will work. absouletly no way he will actually listen to me. but he did. kepler had already planned this. kepler couldnt put into words why he was doing this, but when rachel asked him why he echoed their words; because he is human. 

but kepler couldnt tell jacobi that he was listening. and that he cared about him. he couldnt say he wished jacobi would make it out alive, or that the others would b ok, or that he wasnt going to make it back. 

all he could say was "Thank you Daniel, and goodbye." AKJHSDKJAHSKDH that line makes me want to CRY. its more evidence that kepler totally knew he was going to die. or at least expected it. the way he said goodbye like he knew it really was the last. called him daniel, and maybe others werent aware what that really meant, perhaps they were, but jacobi knew he never called him that. that that meant something. he didnt know what, but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you." 

.... "thank you" for being in my life? for teaching me how to be good? for everything? AUGH I LOVE THESE FICTIONAL MEN. 

>His interactions while the others were mindcontrolled. I relistened to the first episode or two of the last season, and kepler honestly showed signs that he was already doubting goddard. that he wasnt as confident as when the others last saw him. and they commented on this- rachel talked about hera and kepler replied almost remincing about his time on the hephaestus. he said 'she had always been stubborn.' and rachel said 'careful warren, wouldnt want to sound like you admire it.'

And the whole scene with cutter, pryce, kepler, and mind controlled jacobi. Cutter definitely purposefully picked out jacobi to take notes during that. cutter realized something was off about him. He was weaker, almost upset that his subordinate was mindcontrolled? and would obey his every command? cutter had just improved them; and the kepler that cutter wanted wouldnt have cared. but he clearly did care, as he told- no, lied- to cutter about jacobi being a good team member. despite the fact jacobi almost got him shot, like, not even an hour before I think? He was worried jacobi would be punished, or hurt, or even killed. 

Cutter knew this. he took it into account, basically; he didnt kill him, he merely improved his brain. 

And. Eiffel, after being de-mindcontrolled because of the alien blood, waiting for Jacobi, had accidentily given himself away as being 'unmindcontrolled' when he ran into kepler. he expected to be carted away, re-mindcontrolled, or perhaps killed, or locked in a room, but kepler instead 'played along' and pretended like all was fine. he even sneakily told eiffel to be more careful next time. AND YET WE DIDNT NOTICE- eiffel didnt think to mention 'hey kepler totally let me get off scot free, he is maybe on our side. maybe i mean totally.' ?? and i didnt notice the first time around that THE KEPLER WE KNEW AT THE BEGINNING WOULD TOTALLY RAT HIM OUT INSTANTLY. he was always on their side, and perhaps always planning something. maybe since the interaction with mindcontrolled "she was twenty-eight!" jacobi.

[mariejordans]

Listen I adore limoreau they're the first new ship I've had in a long time and I know the show only has 8 eps but omg they're skipping so many important things with them wtf we should've gotten to see flashbacks of their first time where's the convo after all the angst last episode we need more development and depth. I really don't think they anticipated how popular they were gonna be not as a ship but just romance in general they thought it was gonna be like the boys where 99% of the fandom could not care less about who is dating who but this is a college show and the dynamics and potential of the ships is 1000% greater than that of the boys and I LOVE the boys but it's not that show. Also although the boys doesn't kill most of its characters I think gen v is gonna be different we're loosing at least one main the finale and more in s2

okay this post kinda got away from me and i just started rambling (probably nonsense) so please forgive me if none of this makes sense and/or sounds stupid 😭

first off, anon i COMPLETELY agree with you on the first point. like, don’t get me wrong, i’ve loved and appreciated all the limoreau scenes we’ve gotten so far but right now limoreau just feels a bit….underdeveloped ig? i’m not saying that the writers need to take three seasons to get them together (that would be torture), but it feels like there are so many loose ends left with them and i don’t see how they can tie them all up in the final episode, considering it’s supposed to be a tie-in to s4 of the boys and SO MUCH SHIT is happening.

it feels as if the writers shoved in as much limoreau content as they could into the first half of the season and then were like “alright that should be enough” like???? no? we have not seen a proper conversation between jordan and marie about the state of their relationship since, what, episode 5? and they never resolved the issue of jordan being insecure about marie wanting to be with ALL of them, not just their masc self? if the kiss in tonight’s episode is the last limoreau romantic content we get, i’ll be very disappointed bc i feel like they definitely could’ve at least wrapped up that arc in less than eight episodes.

and don’t get me started on what happened during the memory wipe. the two main characters had SEX and we don’t even get to see the build-up to how and why that happened? it’s not as if marie and jordan don’t remember, bc cate literally gave them their memory back, so it kinda feels like we missed a couple steps in this episode 😭 like, yes, the kiss was super cute and soft and adorable and yes i was kicking my feet and giggling, but at the same time it felt a bit “whoa why we going so fucking fast” bc as far as WE know, they haven’t really talked about the kiss or the sex. like, i feel robbed a little bit bc this is supposed to be like THE main couple 😭

i also think you might be onto something with the writers not anticipating how popular limoreau bc the boys (while they do have some beautiful ships kimchie ily) is not exactly a ship/romance-heavy show and ig they expected the audience to take after the boys?? idk if that makes sense but 🤷🏼‍♀️

as for gen v having major characters killed off, i kinda agree, i kinda don’t. i think mostly bc they’ve already killed off two major characters (luke, who i am counting even though he was alive for 1 ep bc his death was a MAJOR plot twist bc he was literally being promoted as a main/lead character, and indira) and then they also killed off dr. cardosa, so i’d say the kill count is pretty high already. i think the characters most likely to die are andre or cate (or andre’s dad but idk if i’d consider him a major death.)

i think marie and jordan are probably the safest of the main characters (KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!!) and should they survive this season (god willing!!!!) i think they will remain safe, if not safer. limoreau are the biggest draw (for newer viewers who haven’t seen the boys at least) to the show right now in my opinion. almost everyone i encounter who likes this show got into it because of jordan and marie. i got into it bc of jordan and marie. i don’t think it’d be smart of them to kill off their most popular characters (at least, i really really hope they’re smart enough NOT to do that) so (again, KNOCK ON WOOD!!!!!!!) i think they are safe.

cate could go one of three ways i think; 1, she lives and ends up going full villain/anti-hero arc (which works well with the theory that marie is gonna blow off cate’s hands so she can’t use her power); 2, she has a whole redemption arc where she sacrifices herself for the group; and 3, (this one seems the most far-fetched to me idk if they would actually go this route) cate dies and becomes a martyr or symbol of the entire supes lives matter thing or whatever it’s called. either way, cate is going to go through some deep deep shit in the finale.

ppl have been saying emma and sam kinda have death trope written all over them, but idk i just don’t see it. i could MAYBE see one of them dying, but also not bc apparently there was a scene from one of the promo trailers of emma in the woods as a prisoner and considering this hasn’t happened yet, i’m thinking maybe it could be a cliffhanger for the end of the episode into season 2? as for sam, i honestly have no idea what the writers have planned for him. personally, i think it would be cruel to kill him off after what he experienced in the woods, not to mention his brother already is dead so it’d be kinda fucked up to kill both riordan brothers but 🤷🏼‍♀️ anything can happen in this show

as for andre, i hate to say it, but he’s kinda useless. he’s probably the weakest supe of the group if i had to pick one and i could definitely see andre dying being used as a way to either solidify cate’s villain arc or like, shock some sense into her(?) bringing her back to the good side, idk 🤷🏼‍♀️ plus there’s the whole controversy with chance, so unless andre survives and they decide to recast him, i really wouldn’t be that sorry to see him go. also, i think his dad is almost for sure dying, my main question is what the hell happened to him and how did he die bc that was random as hell.

i really just hope limoreau and cate survive, they’re probably the most interesting characters in this entire show (i may be a bit biased but it’s fiiine), plus the actors are so so so great, it’d be such a shame to lose them. i’m a little ambivalent on sam and emma, but i don’t really WANT them to die, and with andre, i kinda just don’t care for reasons explained above.

honestly, i think if they kill off another main character this season, it might lessen the chances of killing off another main character in the second season (unless they add more characters to the main cast), and if they end up surviving all the main characters, someone is def getting killed in s2, idk if it’ll be both, but again, anything can happen in this universe so i guess we’ll have to see 🤷🏼‍♀️

[frozenjokes]

Signing Back In, Apparently - 11

Prev/Next

Mumbo was stuck between words and phrases, struggling to parse out the right combination that would get his point across. Don’t you dare die. No. You better not die because I’m not done with you. God, definitely not. Don’t die, but it’s not because I care about you or anything, it’s just that I’m very invested in picking your brain. Right, that, but shorter. I’m going to be very mad at you if you die! Do you really care about anyone, or is it all a charade? I’ll pester you on your deathbed, I swear it! If you die-

Mumbo felt Grian’s hand pull on his sleeve, followed by a more forceful tug when Mumbo did not budge. Apparently, his reluctance was not appreciated. Grian flew into Mumbo’s line of sight, dangling upside down in front of his face, “Stop your ogling, we’re going to fall behind.”

“I am not-” but Mumbo’s protest ended abruptly when Grian spun him around, pushing him toward the rest of the group who had long walked away.

“We aren’t lucky enough for Scar to get himself killed here, let’s just see what this place is all about and try to have some fun, okay?”

“Fun, huh? We’ll see,” Mumbo rolled his eyes with a smile, faking resistance to Grian’s pull for the sake of it.

“Anything is more fun than angsting over Scar all day. I’m starting to get on Impulse’s train. I heard Cleo mention something about games? Come on, I want to catch up and listen!”

“I’m walking, I’m walking. Don’t let me slow you down.”

“I won’t ,” Grian grinned, and Mumbo recognized the glint in his eye far too late, unable to dodge out of the way before the other ghost scooped him up with a triumphant yell, running off with Mumbo locked in his arms.

“Ah, and of course there’s Decked Out, but I don’t know if that will be too much for a first visit. Ghosts can’t die of course, but Tango’s monsters will do quite the number on you before they spit you out back here. I’m not allowed to play, which is stupid, but I have almost been eaten before, so I guess I understand,” Cleo rambled on, hardly noticing Grian and Mumbo’s arrival. Her lantern cut through the dense fog, but its light didn’t seem quite as necessary as the dirt and root floor turned to stone, and then to road. Despite the forest’s thick, foreboding appearance, it didn’t seem to stretch very far.

“ What is this?” Pearl breathed, prompting Mumbo to look up and see that everyone else had stopped. He followed their gaze and fell into the same awed stupor. The landscape had done a complete 180; instead of gnarled trees and gray muddy roots, there were grand buildings, streets, lights, pop up shops- color. This was a city- some sort of wild metropolis even, contrasted heavily by the emptiness of it all. No one was here, but people should be, shouldn’t they? Mumbo squinted. Were there even ghosts?

“Welcome to the shopping district!” Cleo swung her arms wide, laughing after another moment at their stunned expressions. “It’s a bit more busy at the start of a season when everyone is here building, but late in the game, it’s mostly just ghosts stopping by to pick up ungodly amounts of concrete for their new projects.”

“How- ghosts-“

“Oh right. Well, if you haven’t already run into a tree or two on the way here, you wouldn’t know ghosts can touch stuff here. You guys can’t even phase through anything that was made on this island, it’s all solid. Basically, if it was born, grown, or made here, you can touch it and it can touch you. You’re essentially solid except for a few cases like outsiders coming in.”

Mumbo, leant down to touch the road. To really touch it. They weren’t just walking on the ground out of habit, they were really walking on it, and it in turn supported their footsteps. All four of them seemed to realize this at once and in a frenzy started to touch everything ; every tree, every lamppost, every wall. Feeling crevices and not moving through them on accident. Pushing and feeling a surface push back. It was magical. Based on Cleo’s hardly muffled giggles, it was probably also very silly.

“They built all this?” Impulse took a step back, unbothered by Cleo’s chuckling, and Mumbo was shocked back into a second state of awe. His focus was no longer the ground, by the sky, and the peaks of the grand buildings that mingled in its clouds. If ghosts could be solid, they could also create, couldn’t they?

“Yup. And most of these projects are all done by just one or two people. Ghosts here love locking themselves away and working on projects for months on end. Oh, and if you think all this is impressive, just wait until you see the indivisible bases . They are massive. This island is massive actually- a lot bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. It’s weird, right? Well, you’ll see.” Cleo put their hands in the pockets of their trench coat, sighing loudly, “Yeah, if you’re dead, this is the place to be. Come on, let’s see if we can find anyone hanging around. If not, I’ll go and introduce you to Joe.”

Things started out manageable. The first ghost they ran into walking the streets of the shopping district was a smaller guy named Bdubs, who had fashioned himself clothes made of moss. Real moss. Moss that grows on the ground being touched and worn as clothes by a ghost that should not be able to touch and wear things. They saw his horses, his incredible steampunk-esc base filled top to bottom with impossible amounts of detail, and it was at this point Mumbo was beginning to become hopelessly overwhelmed. Seeing a ghost ride a horse was enough to make his brain short circuit, so when another ghost arrived via blasting themself through the air with a firework rocket, Mumbo had just about been set over the edge.

Zedaph was his name, apparently, but he talked so fast at a time where speech comprehension was failing in Mumbo’s brain, so not much stuck. Apparently travel by firework explosions was just.. normal here. Maybe it was time to sit down. Well, the others didn’t seem to think so. Grian launched an assault of questions Zedaph and Bdubs seemed delighted to answer, only to be interrupted by Cleo letting Zedaph know that these ghosts came attached to a human, and that he better go and find him before Cub kills him.

“Four ghosts on one human! Oh, Cub better share!”

When Zedaph blasted off into the clouds, Mumbo relaxed his shoulders, hoping for a chance to sit and process every new discovery, but Zedaph must have told everyone he saw on his flight there were new ghosts in town, because it wasn’t long before all four of them were thrust into a whirlwind of activity. It was almost comedic the way they were passed from person to person, each revealing some new and frightening quirk about this place. There was Tango and his massive dungeon, what looked like a chunk of earth that was just deleted out of the ground and lived in by a man named Doc, an icy castle with a built in boat race and flight course by a False Symmetry, and so many more unbelievable places built by ghosts whose names Mumbo was starting to struggle remembering. And the games. There was a whole card game featuring the inhabitants as units, with massive arenas built for the sole purpose of playing. Games where the purpose was to fight and be the last (functionally) alive. If you’re dead, what’s stopping you from making things dangerous? Nothing, apparently!

It was a lot. Too much, really. In the past, what? Two, three hours? Mumbo had probably said a total of four or five words, if any at all, just trying to get a grasp on this new world. It was wonderful, yes, but it was also starting to feel relentless. Mumbo began feeling frightened that no one else felt the same way. Anxiety thrummed at his fingertips as doubt trickled in. He needed to stop. Sit down and breathe and take it in at a slower pace. He opened his mouth, waiting for the words to express themselves, but there was nothing on his tongue, nothing in his throat, in his lungs. And suddenly, they were walking, they were all walking to their next destination, but Mumbo couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t-

He wished Scar was here. No! He-

“Mumbo? Hey, are you alright?” Grian’s voice was gentle. A tone that was meant just for the two of them, not to draw any attention. Grian reached out his hand and Mumbo flinched from his touch, only to grasp back like this anchor might slip away if he didn’t hold tight. He didn’t mean to stay quiet. He didn’t want Grian to get the wrong idea (what was the right idea?). Please slow down. Mumbo recognized the gears turning behind Grian’s eyes, the careful consideration.

“Hey, we’re gonna sit out for a minute, alright? You guys go ahead,” Grian called, signaling more specifically to Impulse. The other ghost turned, looking surprised before a worried concern hardened in his gaze that felt like needles on Mumbo’s skin. He was disrupting something good- why couldn’t he just keep up.

“Is something wrong? We can wait,” Impulse said, tapping Pearl’s arm. Mumbo met Grian’s eye. He wasn’t sure what he wanted Grian to take from it.

“Don’t, it’s fine. I’m just getting a little tired, but if I need you, I’ll come find you.” Grian turned back to Impulse, waving with a small smile. With a gentle assessment, Impulse nodded, exchanging a word with Pearl that Mumbo didn’t catch, and continuing forward with Cleo. Mumbo let out a long breath. Still no words. Grian lingered for a moment before pointing out a bench where they could sit. That sounded nice. Mumbo relaxed his grip on Grian’s hand.

“This is a lot, isn’t it. I wasn’t lying, I am getting tired. I don’t remember the last time we’ve done so much together. Maybe the four of us need to get more creative on the faction isles.” Grian leaned back with his eyes closed, humming to himself to fill some of the following silence. “I think I could get used to it. Being tired. Feels human.”

“I’m sorry.”

Grian looked up, but quickly relaxed back into a small smile, “Don’t be. I’m glad to take a step back, especially if it’s to hang for a moment with you. What’s up?”

“Overwhelmed, I think. Kind of.. I don’t know, I’m kind of a lot of things.”

“I can second that one, pal.” Grian looked to the ground, momentarily distracted by a pebble in the road. He grinned as he kicked it. “This place is.. unreal I think is the right word. Unreal. You know something crazy I noticed? I don’t think I could tell you how any of these other ghosts died.”

“Grian!” Mumbo forgot his own ache for a moment, startled into an upright position, “I don’t think that’s any of our business, is it?”

“Well no, but I’m nosey,” Grian kicked his legs, throwing his head back in a sly smile. After a moment, he straightened up a bit, brows furrowing, “I mean, I just noticed because none of these island ghosts have marks like we do. I just thought all ghosts would, you know? And these guys just.. they just looked so happy.” Grian’s smile fell, expression tightening into something strained. “It made me wonder if we could heal too.”

“Oh.” Mumbo’s whole body froze, his own anxiety flaring back into place. That was certainly an idea. Grian held him in careful scrutiny, and Mumbo wondered if Grian had seen part of his body crack. He wasn’t sure himself. “I don’t think that’s in the cards for us.”

Grian shook his head ever so slightly, “I thought you might say that. But I don’t know. I mean, being around Scar all the time isn’t doing any of us any favors. You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I might be starting to give up on him.”

“What? How do you mean?” Mumbo didn’t like the way his chest tightened, as if he was about to lose something deeply important. There was companionship in the goals they shared. Based on their big conversation before being forced to Scar’s side, Mumbo had thought Grian was still invested. Had he misread his words? It wouldn’t be the first time.

“I don’t know. I’m angry , of course I am, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being angry, but I’m also just scared? Tired? Maybe apathetic is a better word. It feels like every time I get close, Scar just finds another way to bring me down with him. I’m not really sure yet, but.. I mean.. if we had the opportunity to just leave him behind and start something new? I think I’d take it in a heartbeat. Just, never see him again. Never worry about where he’s at or what he’s doing.”

“Move on?”

“Do you mean like Impulse says? To whatever afterlife is next? That, I’m less sure. Maybe this is silly considering the state of us, but I’m not ready to die. Scar took so much, but I’m still here . And the people I love are still here too. And there’s still things I haven’t said that I need to, but I don’t know if I can if..” Grian looked away, only sparing a quick glance in Mumbo’s direction before planting his eye on the cobbled ground, “I need everyone to be in the right place to hear it. I want to be on the same page.” There was something about the way he said everyone . Something that made it seem like the word he wanted to say was you.

“I’m not in a good place,” Mumbo felt the need to affirm it, to make sure Grian knew. Of course he knew. The resigned look in his only good eye all but confirmed it.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for. Honestly, I hope you find it soon, so we can start to get on our own way. But, uh, could you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“If you find out. Why, I mean. Why he killed us. Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me even if I ask. I just can’t shake the feeling I’ll be worse off knowing. Like the forbidden fruit, right?”

“Wow, you really have changed,” Mumbo breathed. The words felt chalky on his tongue. Why did it ache?

Grian laughed, something sad, “Yeah. I think so. You changed too; it feels a bit like we swapped places. I only wish I.. I wish it happened sooner. Maybe if I hadn’t been so obsessed, I could have stopped.. I don’t know. Maybe I could have come between you and Scar. Done something .”

Mumbo wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wasn’t sure if anything could be done. Certainly not now. He closed his eyes. This had to end. “I’m going to try, Grian. I’m really going to try. I’m close, I think. I’ll be cold, I’ll just ask, and then maybe I’ll have the closure I need to just. Get over it.”

Doubt colored Grian’s face, curving his frown. “I don’t think it’s hopeless, Mumbo.”

“What?”

“I think we can heal. I don’t think it’s hopeless. And I’m worried you’re going to get really hurt before you figure it out for yourself. I don’t think I can stop you- no one would have been able to stop me when I.. nevermind. It’s just a warning, alright? Please be careful.”

“Grian, please expl-“

“I have tinnitus, Mumbo. Like, really bad. And that sounds so stupid to say, but I’m dead, I should not be able to have tinnitus. I don’t even have any prolonged pain- none of us do! We are ghosts! We shouldn’t! But Scar has it too. I know he does, I just know, and we both got it when- when whatever happened to me happened with the scream. When I hurt him, it hurt me. I don’t know how much more on the nose it gets. It’s just freaking me out, thinking about what could happen to us.”

Mumbo paused, taking a long moment to let that sink in. A warning indeed. But he didn’t want to hurt Scar, so that couldn’t happen to him. He wouldn’t let it. He would be careful. “Thank you, Grian.”

Grian nodded, looking small. Mumbo leaned over, wrapping him in a hug. Whatever Grian had been that day, it had been deeply afraid, a fear he still carried close. Mumbo hadn’t even considered any physical complications; is that why Grian had fled? Had the scream hurt him just as badly as it had hurt Scar? And then, just as potent as Mumbo’s own loneliness in his mission was a deep relief. Grian was done. He had been burned, but now he would stay away, possibly long enough for the injuries to scab over. To heal. Maybe it was possible. Maybe, just as soon as Mumbo got what he needed from Scar, he could join him in trying.

Maybe.

[frosted-plasma]

what’s your thoughts on the Futurama revival

Anon I'm so sorry you're going to be victim to the longest post you will ever see. I hate it I hate it I hate it

HUGE /neg rant incoming (this show is my special interest and has been for YEARS. This will all be rambling)

THEY FUCKING COMPLETELY DISREGARDED "MEANWHILE." It directly contradicts it. "I offered to reset time to the moment before time stopped!" Okay, but you didn't though. The entire tragedy of the ending was that they'd be doomed to relive their lives from the moment they met (s1 e1) on loop. "Want to go around again?" Okay so that line doesn't make sense anymore!!! I had theories upon theories before the season came out and I was beyond disappointed. This show has shown it can do deep thought-out themes, I was fully hoping for them to show them reliving the past again, maybe its their 1,000th time reliving it, maybe Fry or Leela notices for once that something is familiar about it. Hell maybe there's a 1 in a million chance that they DON'T break the button! Free will and all, maybe things aren't 100% the same each run and they get lucky once. This also could have been used to recap old seasons for people who didn't rewatch them

They don't know how much time has passed?? I understand that was an excuse to make it the year 3023, but why would you do that? What's the point??

Things such as the Scary Door reboot don't make sense, not to mention the overuse of "haha it's a reboot!! Get it?? It's a reboot!! We got cancelled!!!" jokes but I'll get to that later. Timeline things just don't make sense anymore because of the time freeze. It's an awful awful awful writing choice. They unfroze time right where it paused, canonically, they show them unfreezing exactly there, it makes zero sense. How is there new technology and new TV shows when no time has passed. I'm ignoring that it's "10 years later" because it isn't, you can't just say that without showing it, it literally isn't

Even the smaller jokes feel very dragged out? Like Bender laughing at Fry setting a goal in episode one. He laughs and Leela smacks him, his head spins around and it's funny, then his body does an extra spin for no reason other than to emphasize that it's a joke? I guess? And then not even a minute later she slaps his hand again and it dramatically flies back and hits Zoidberg. Do you get what I'm saying? It's just too much focus on every single bit

I do like the updated intro! The added details to the city in the background is super super cool!! I love the thought they put into it (Bender hanging out of the ship on the magnet is a bit much considering all of the other references they included, but I'll let it slide. Just doesn't feel necessary to me in the intro)

The animation is rigged now:/ it's bound to happen nowadays, it just feels sad to look at for me (in general, not just with this show) the characters (ESPECIALLY Fry) feel very off model sometimes:(

Fry's hardly in the first episode. Odd writing choice considering he's the main character

Oh my GOD. The Hulu/reboot references. It's EXHAUSTING to watch. The amount of 2023 references they crammed into this season is physically painful, they drag them out for SO LONG

(in the first ep) the non-binary robots joke was funny and the scenes with Calculon and the Robot Devil were the only scenes that felt like old Futurama! Their voice acting was great and it was funny! The rest of the voice acting feels very lackluster and most of the other jokes just didn't get me

Calculon and the Robot Devil were the funniest characters, that's how dumbed down they made Bender, he's not my favorite that season

The plots are just. Bad. I hate to say it I really do. Shut up with the reboot jokes, the covid19 jokes, the only decent one was the bit mining episode because it actually used the idea as a real jumping off point and that episode still wasn't revolutionary. The other half of the episodes are pure callbacks. The one with Amy and Kifs kids was cute because it had a reason to exist! It wasn't a very funny episode but it was cute!! The other ones like the worm parasites in nibblers litter box (OR GOD FORBID THE ONE WHERE THE TIME MACHINE SHOWS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AGAIN WITH NO DRIVER??) make me MAD with how lazy of an excuse they are to cram in a reference without matching the rest of the lore

I'm fully assuming the reboot came from a place of love from the writers and the VAs but personally I didn't think the new season was very funny nor did it add anything new to the series, and it felt very very bland and dumbed down and I didn't even pay attention to the last few episodes because of it (that is saying something coming from me)

I rewatched the first episode for this so this is mainly talking about that one. Tell me if you want me to talk about the others I have so many thoughts this is me summarizing like all hell I hate the plots so much and this is my all time favorite show I'm still going to watch the next season and I still have high hopes for it

[ettadunham]

i hate to be the guy adding to the arcane ramblings when i'm also the guy saying 'just let me enjoy women's wrongs in peace' @ discourse, but god, i keep thinking about arcane's storytelling. there is this cheap trick that i've seen tv shows do in our modern fandom ecosystem, seemingly to try and cultivate a following, where they would gesture towards / imply things or let the audience fill out the blanks constantly. and obviously, that almost always leads to a let down, because no, they're not gonna follow through. they're not gonna write the story that you're writing in your own head, and they're probably just gonna give you something else to chase instead of fulfilling that potential you saw in it.

but what i like about arcane is that they're not just letting you fill out the blanks - they want you to find the connections and the details that complete the story that they're telling. it's not just vague gesturing where you can read anything into it, it's intentional and consistent. yes, it's super fast paced, but it's also efficient not just with its story but its character writing, and if you can meet it where it is, if you can follow its characters through their journeys, it can be immensely satisfying.

and listen, i'm also the guy saying that we should bring back 22-episode seasons. give me my bottle episodes, my beloved fillers, my special little bros, let them breathe gdi, but damn. this show is my exception that proves the rule, whatever the fuck that nonsense phrase means.

and okay, season 2 maybe was a bit overstuffed. a bit too punchy for its own fucking good. there actually were some points where i got a bit of a whiplash, but even there, it was mostly when i felt confused by whatever was happening (and that might also have meant that i missed something or didn't have a full on vibe with a character). like, i didn't really understand what the fuck was going on with viktor, and why jayce smashing him (nice) with a hammer made it so that he was suddenly evil aligned i guess. but you know what, they somehow still made it make sense retroactively by the end, so i'm not mad.

on a somewhat opposite end, i don't think i got a full grasp of the whole black rose plotline, and to this day, i'm still not sure if i'm supposed to think that mel's brother died because their mother failed to save him, or because she just straight up murdered him herself (i think it's the former, but i s2g, i was so sure at points that they were implying the latter). but that ultimately didn't really take away from the heart of that storyline which was mel and ambessa's characters and their relationship, and that really was all that mattered. god, that was so good.

and you know what? i don't even care that caitlyn seemingly switched up on a dime when she bumped into her ex. because i was so fucking locked in to that character and it just... made sense to me. and not just in a funny 'haha, lesbian' way, but in a real, i-know-this-bitch-in-my-gut-and-my-emotional-investment-is-paying-off way.

god, this show is so good. still would have loved a s3 though.

[cryingforhyo]

i guess it's safe to say that I'm one of your old readers in this fandom. 😅 I've been a reader since you drop Push and Pull out on that holiday night.

I read most of your fics too. there's only one or two fic that I haven't read in the past year because life is a bit hectic now.

this is not a subtle request btw, but I'm curious if you have a 'verse focused about coming-out or realizing one's sexual orientation. I don't exactly remember every detail but, iirc, most of your fics' characters have implied sexuality which are lesbians.

It will be cool to know how you guys write about the experiences of coming out from your time period. ( I don't mean to make you feel so old 😭 but I know you two are in your 30s and are wiser and more experienced than we are (early 20s) ) I remember reading a post that it was really a different social scene compared to now.

maybe I'm also curious how you two became friends, then roommates *cough* *coughhhhh* and then wives because tbh I'm surrounded by hetero couples irl that reading about you two fascinates me.

I'm sorry for this ramble. feel free to ignore it too if it's borderline invasive. and sorry if you'll see this on a Monday morning

first off, thank you dear reader for being with us for so long! time surely flies when you're having fun, because wdym push & pull is approaching its 3rd anniversary??? creating for this fandom has been such a joint delight for the both of us, and we're just happy to share the journey with friends like you :) take your time re the new fics, esp if they're wips! we're working on them relatively slower, because life has also been hella hectic hereabouts.

onto your second query: i think this question is very interesting, actually! to address it head on, for this particular fandom i don't think i've written a 'verse where the specific challenge for any of the characters is coming to terms with their sexuality. i quite like living in this fantasy world where people are simply as-is-where-is lesbians haha. for example in our childhood best friends to lovers stories, when someone realizes their attraction, the realization is not so much about falling in love with another woman, but about falling in love with this specific person.

this way, it's the characters' shared context and history that makes their dynamic compelling, instead of the much more global milieu of lgbt relationships existing alongside all these issues and history, etc. which i also think are interesting stories to tell! but for purposes of this fandom in particular, which i think exists in a sociopolitical context that is beyond my expertise--i leave those stories to better-positioned storytellers :) in the true spirit of creating in this era, i do not want to get anything so egregiously wrong it will detract from the reader's experience.

but seriously, i have been obsessed about writing coming out/ coming of age stories for the longest time, mostly for my original work, which are set locally with local OCs. they were all i wrote about back in the day, so i guess for fanfic i figured i could instead try all the other tropes that weren't so close to real life, where coming out can be fraught and complicated. it's for the same reason that i don't write compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) or i avoid writing men as third parties in general... i've already spent a significant chunk of my writing life writing /that/ story, or at least that’s how it felt like.

but you make a good point! i'd love to try revisiting that coming out/coming of age trope and give it some aged-up flavor. let's see about that :)

on a personal note, many times when i look at today's digital landscape, I often go, thank god [this or that] did not exist just yet back in the day [or at least not in this manner] when i was figuring my shit out, because oh boy. the clout i could have chased and cancellations i could have booked haha.

suffice it to say i'm happy the digital footprints of past egregious mistakes are now buried with the deaths of old platforms. we were very lucky to have lived and loved and lost in an age where the internet could still afford some measure of forgetting.

(i know there's probably no going back to that kind of landscape, but i hope it's not too late for us to be a little kinder to each other, and definitely more forgiving of ~youth and elderly~, given how fast information cycles around these days and how wide the age range of users concurrently using the same digital spaces right now can be. it's NUTS.)

that said, c would like to clarify she is still in her twenties! hahaha. i confirm this. i also confirm that you're right to say i (k) am already out of my twenties haha.

we actually became friends through fandom! we met on tumblr lmao because that's where you met other wlw back in the day (idk if that's still where people are, istg i would not survive the current dating landscape either!) so i would not be exaggerating when i say fandom brought us together, and we're still cycling through fandoms together, having been to various ones in the past handful of years. that said we look forward to more fandoms to add to our list lol.

thanks for this ask - it's actually the PERFECT thing to see on a monday morning, in fact. hope your week goes well!

[codecicle]

whats your problem dude why are you so weird :3

im love posting now to fuck with you.

you thought this was gonna be a sneak attack but it isn't dumbass‼️ everyone point and laugh

i love you man and I mean that I love staying up texting you and altering my whole entire sleep schedule to fit yours i love getting random shit sent to me during the day and seeing your texts or asks in my notifs i love seeing your music taste and everything that comes with it i love hearing about your day and making inside jokes and bits between us that permanently change my vocabulary (ZIPPEE ^_^ sillay :3 and that dreaded Keyboard) I love being the only person who can understand what you've typed because you can't spell for shit but I also love being able to tell when you've gotten used to the keyboard your using because difficult words aren't misspelt like they normally are I love calling you in vc until your phone shuts off and playing baby sensory subway surfers videos with slimecicle gifs so you and your friends pay attention to my "very important" (no it's NOT LMAOOOO) tetris/papa's freezeria/minecraft gameplay that I always have screensharing in the background of the call. I love our shitty little minecraft world and our suicide hole (and stripper pole that Kai doesnt know about please keep it that way or we will never hear the end of it) and your inability to stay alive and our little back to back like a movie fighting and I love that one time I watched a mlp movie (which I have to do again. Btw) for you because you watched Be More Chill for me and we both ending up loving them both and I love our matching phone stickers we have that are torn to shreads and dirty as hell now but they USED to read "#1 ashton swagaythor fan" + "BOYF" with mine matching to read "#1 felix elliot 'is' fruity fan" + "REINDS" and I love how you use all of my pronouns even the unconventional ones (IT/ITS MY FAVORITE FOREVER AND EVERRR MAN) ((not really)) and how you explained how to use certain neopronouns to me without judging me at all and your little d20 rolls in the mornings to decide on what pronouns you're going to use for the day (today was he/they/she btw ^_^) and I love all of your dnd characters and/or ocs that you've shown me and explained the lore of (the dnd one that uses he/she is my favorite btw. the others are neat and all but he's my favorite by a long shot the others can't even touch her dude) and i love your amazing sense of fashion and outfit checks you'll send that just get better each time you do and I love your hair and your glasses (even though I felt VERY betrayed to find out they weren't circular irl how could you slash sillay) and every little detail on how you look and act and im so serious. i love your love of gillion titstrider and seeing you talk about jrwi AND HOW YOU STILLL HAVENT CAUGHT UP YET BUT THATS FINE SMH SMH and seeing you ramble about the play you're currently doing in our texts rn dear god those are lyrics and i love them

anyway point is i love you so much and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your night after reading this o/

[purplebass]

Mhm, Kell and Kosika do seem to have some similarities about them. Especially if Holland or whoever is using his image is just using Kosika to reopen the walls. Also it's quite interesting to note that all her antari commands have come to her instinctively. However, whilst we don't have confirmation that this is strange or unusual - we do see both Kell and Lila using their powers for the first time (just about) and neither knew the commands - Maris told Kell and Lila had to ask!

Definitely seems to be a vitari-esque parallel between Holland and Kosika, very spooky. I'll be interested to see where it goes, given basically all W!London scenes are build up for later.

Balance is interesting, because I'm of the thought that reopening the gates will balance - because closed everything fell out of balance. I do think "and we had to give up magic power for the good of all" endings are a bit naff and considering R!London is very reliant, I don't think Schwab will lean that way. Would the antari population *balance* out?

Gods, I agree, Kell was probably way too scared after the ring business. It seemed like he was really hung up on it - but I can also see why the gesture was received poorly on Lila's end. I would like to see Lila cry more, let it out!! What comes after the confession though? Lila was clear she's not really a... family maker (nice parallel with Alucard who does want that for himself and Rhy). I thought Lila's response when asked by Nadiya was a bit interesting, it was a clear no, but Lila clearly felt a bit off about it, literally describing it as a "strange effect". I don't necessarily think children is the lathway this is going, but idk, it stuck out to me. Perhaps its like you say, that fear she has of facing her feelings.

Poor Tes, i'm looking forward to seeing her confidence grow! And for the eventual conflict with her sister!

That would make sense, or perhaps the space between worlds - and they can only escape once Kosika opens the gates.

I think Schwab is very drawn to male characters (and i think why some readers don't like Lila so much because she is this aggressive and mean character - each to their own i guess)

Thanks for rambling with me - i don't have anyone to theorise with and I liked your recent takes!

Hey, sorry for the late reply but I was kinda disconnected mentally this past week 😆 and I wanted to give a proper reply!

Putting a read more because it's quite long 😅

-> Kosika using her commands casually Yup, from what I've gathered, before she met "Holland" in ghostly form, he was with her but she could not see him, and he told her the commands and only later I think he tells her that's how she was able to know what to do, which is suspicious. Because like you said, Kell and Lila were told the Antari commands and there are still commands they might not know and can't use bc Antari magic requires specific formulae. Maybe "Holland" wanted to speed the process required for Antari to learn every spell they can use so the process to gather power would be quicker. What if he needed power to manifest himself to her as a ghost? Because it took a few years... and that power they are gathering may have other purposes which Kosika is unaware of. And yep, the WL scenes are for the future! Because no one expects WL to be so changed after seven years, and for Kosika to be so knowledgeable about Antari magic so young.

-> Everyone losing their power at the end? Would the antari population *balance* out?

I also dislike the "they lose their powers at the end" trope. This series deals a lot with the theme of balance and one of the hardest things the characters have/had to do is/was to control themselves and their magic. If they lost everything, it would be quite annoying and would be too easy. The point that was made throughout the trilogy and now in Threads is balance, power, control, limits, etc. Victoria doesn't seem the kind of writer who would resort to that, at least in most of the series by her I've read, there was no one who ended without powers (on the other end, they had to deal with the consequences of having x power and things like that). So maybe, if Black London has something to do with Antari and why they exist -maybe there's a bit of Black London magic in every London and that's why Antari are so rare- it's possible there would be more of them? Even though that itself would be difficult to handle because people would abuse of their powers etc. so it's a never ending cycle lol

-> Kell and Lila

I wanted to see how the ring scene went because it must have been angsty (might write a fanfic about it perhaps, bc I like to write missing scenes XD). Confrontation can make or break a relationship, and I think that even if they don't see eye to eye on some matters, they still try to understand and be there for each other because they deeply care and love each other. I don't want to imagine what would happen if either of them died or would be severely injured.

I think I wrote in the previous ask that Lila only cries when there's death/near death experience with the people she loves. The finality is the trigger that opens the gates of her tears, because she's emotionally repressed. She had to reign in her emotions for years and it takes time to unlearn this. And we see that even if Kell shows her repeatedly how much he loves her, and she knows he won't reject her - if any, he would be ecstatic if she told him she loves him - she still finds it difficult to do so and to say those three words. I believe it's one of her core fears, along with well, losing Kell.

See, a reason I would love a baby storyline/talk is that perhaps this could help unlock her emotional side more. Lila might not be emotional like Kell (even though she's more irrational than him on the practical side), but she does have a heart and that heart beats so loud for those she cares about. This story would also tie with her trauma (i.e. losing her mother so young, having an abusive father so being scared to be like her father with her child, her fear of being tied down, etc.). I don't think a child is necessary in a couple but I feel like there is something in Kell and Lila's story (and their inner child trauma) that would tie so well with a baby storyline. I can't unsee it after this baby talk with Nadiya but of course it's just an headcanon for now. There are a lot of ways to explore this topic, and they may even discuss it among themselves. I would like to know where Kell stands on this. Maybe he would talk about it with either Rhy or Nadiya herself, because I bet she's interested about Kell's thoughts about this (even if it's none of her business lol).

-> V drawn to male characters

Yeah, most of her novels have more male characters than female characters, and she does characterize them well (they also have great chemistry with each other and that's not an easy fit). In ADSOM Lila is the only mfc, and she doesn't fit the gender stereotypes, and sometimes she might be too extreme and do questionable things and people might not like that. Or maybe, people do not try to see past the exterior behavior she has, I have no idea. On the other hand, that's why I love Lila. She is morally grey, she is unpredictable, she is an hypocrite, she is a mystery, she is many things. I love all the layers she has and she is definitely my favorite character along with Kell. She was the first character I was drawn to when I read ADSOM years ago, and my love was reaffirmed and grew even stronger when I read Threads. 😂

Do not worry about rambling! I like rambling about ADSOM and I love talking about it with other fans, so feel free to send more asks 🫶🏻